Archive for briana@brianagwhitaker.com

The Food and Follicle Connection

As a natuHype-Hair-Natural-Hairralista for the past 12 years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my hair takes work. Lots of it. It’s a relationship that is quite complicated at times. I love it, but I don’t always like it. I appreciate its thickness, but I hate the length of time it takes to style it. I love its versatility, but I hate that many really cute styles only stay cute for a few days. Nevertheless, I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH MY NATURAL HAIR! My hair doesn’t always love me or the way I treat it though. Over the years, I’ve learned that natural hair doesn’t automatically mean healthy hair. There are things that I have to do even beyond protective styling to keep my locks looking and feeling their best. I’m willing to bet you have too. To help, I’ve invited Kenyona McLeod, owner of Shear Glamour Salon and creator of Kennesential Beauty products (www.kenessential.com) to share her knowledge on achieving the healthiest hair possible. So, let your hair down and let’s get our luscious locks on!

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2

I believe the Bible rates health right near the top of the list in importance. Man’s mind, spiritual nature, and body are all interconnected and dependent. What affects one can affect the other. If our bodies are misused, or if we live a gluttonous lifestyle (In Luke 21:34, Christ specifically warns against overeating in the last days), we could be putting ourselves at risk for health problems. Overeating is responsible for many degenerative diseases. Poor food choices make our bodies sluggish and our energy low. In that state it is difficult to efficiently perform what God has ordained and called us to do. Poor food and lifestyle choices can also affect the health of our hair.

Most of us dream of having long, luscious, flowing tresses, but no thanks to genetics, stress or other environmental factors, many of us have been left with hair that rarely sparkles or shines. Fortunately, a healthy diet and smart lifestyle changes can be the perfect marriage for your hair and body. Adopting a clean eating lifestyle can have your hair looking luscious. Truly healthy hair is the result of a well-nourished body and a nutrient-rich diet. What you put in is what you get out.

We often talk about hair as an extension of us and how we should handle and maintain it from the outside in so we can be able to achieve long hair, but how often will we hear people talk about the correlation between exercise and clean eating to make the hair stronger and longer?

There are several reasons why the whole body health connection would support the conclusion that in the quest for longer hair, clean eating is a huge factor. Others argue that longer hair is more about caring for the strand rather than the whole body. I believe your body and hair is a direct result of what you ingest… if you have a fatty fast food addiction, chances are your hair and body shows signs of this.

Healthy tips for achieving the stronger, longer hair you desire.

Eat Well

While you might not be able to change your hair growth rate which is about ¼ to ½ inch a month, it is possible that the vitamins and minerals present with a healthy diet will allow you maximize your natural hair growth rate. Think about eating healthy as deep conditioning your body from the inside out. A lifestyle high in fruits and vegetables will give you the minerals and vitamins needed for healthy hair and skin.

Nuts such as almonds, walnuts, and pecans are a great source of biotin, a vitamin known to help promote hair growth. Salmon Omega-3 fatty acids are essential nutrients for healthy hair and skin, and since your body cannot produce them on its own, it’s important you get these fatty acids from your diet. Eating two servings of fatty fish like salmon or tuna per week can help keep your hair full and long. Sweet potatoes are another wonderful food for hair growth due to their high dosage of beta carotene, the precursor of Vitamin A, which helps to keep hair from becoming dry and brittle. According to Livestrong.com, avocados are high in vitamin B and E, and fatty acids, preventing you from hair loss and breakage, strengthening your scalp, and providing that gleam and shine that most long hair girls desire.

Exercise Regularly

Regular exercise may improve blood circulation and allows the vitamins and minerals discussed previously to travel to the scalp where they are needed. Increasing blood flow to your scalp is one of the best ways to promote hair and scalp health. An increase in blood flow means that your hair is getting the nutrients it needs, but it also prevents dandruff, psoriasis, and other scalp problems. Studies have shown that better circulation in your scalp can even help your hair to grow faster. (www.theluxuryspot.com/increase-scalp- circulation/)

Manage Stress

Some people experience more hair loss or breakage during periods of high stress. Regular exercise is known to have a positive impact on blood pressure and mood which could help manage stress.

Think you cannot incorporate daily exercise into your already busy lifestyle? Remember stolen moments add up. Experts recommend working out 45 minutes to an hour a day (30 minutes for beginners) for weight loss and fitness. But if you’re like most women, you don’t always have a block of 30 to 60 minutes a day to devote exclusively to doing your workouts. Lest you think that short bursts of activity have a negligible effect on your fitness program, think again. One study found that women who split their exercise into 10-minute increments were more likely to exercise consistently, and lost more weight after five months, than women who exercised for 20 to 40 minutes at a time. (www.prevention.com)

Chat with Kenyona. What is your hair’s story? What have you discovered about the best way to care for your hair?

KenyKenyonaona McLeod is a Master hair care stylist and natural beauty mixologist, owner of Shear Glamour Salon, Shear Glamour Cosmetics and the creator of Kenessential Beauty a luxurious hair and body care line. She has been a licensed stylist for 20 years; she loves what she does and enjoys finding new ways to take hair and body care to the level of fabulousness. Kenyona has been trained under world renowned styling artists from Redken, Paul Mitchell, Mizani, Affirm, Kera Care, Design Essentials, Influence and B&B Bronner Bros.

“I believe everyone should enjoy and love their hair and body, and glamorizing what you have naturally, every time I step behind my chair or sell a product, I pray each and every client achieves their top level of beauty inside and out; and I’m here to make sure you fall madly in love with yourself and have the tools and resources to do so.

 

The Pain of Discipline

discipline2I wasn’t ready, saints. I thought I had until my son at least turned one before having to deal with temper tantrums, but not so. One night while I was putting him down to sleep he got really fussy. I knew he wanted to nurse, but I didn’t give in to his demands because I knew he wasn’t hungry. Do you know what he did next? That adorable baby of mine threw his arms down with his little fists balled up and grunted loudly, frowning up his face at me. No he didn’t just give me attitude, I thought. A friend of mine joked, saying that the man inside him is standing up already. Well, I need that man to sit down–pronto! I’m sure you’re wondering how I handled that first surge of testosterone. I looked him straight in the eye with as stern a face as I could make and said “NO” with an even more stern tone of voice. I think he got the picture. The man inside him did actually sit down, at least for the moment, because his frown softened, he stopped grunting, and he went on to sleep.

That was my first encounter with disciplining my son, and it wasn’t so bad. Honestly though, I have mixed feelings about my son’s first spanking.

On one hand I’m looking forward to proving to the world and to myself that I’m no pushover when it comes to my child. I also want my son to know that like Homie the Clown, mommy don’t play that. But on the other hand, I am not looking forward to picking up a belt and making him cry. I don’t think any parent looks forward to it. But some people I know seem to spank with ease. Lord knows I will need help with this. The Lord who is my help, knowing just what I need has provided his Word as a source of instruction and comfort.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Before my son was born I was adamant about me being a better disciplinarian than my husband because of my teaching experience. But now that I see that adorable little face I have to pray for the strength to do what needs to be done on that blessed day when Gabe makes a poor decision (and he will) that warrants the rod of correction.  Lord, Jesus be a belt and a box of Kleenex for me afterwards. Nevertheless, no matter how undesirable discipline is to the giver and the receiver, it MUST be done. Here’s why.

Proverbs 22:15                                                                                                              Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

AND

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
I may not get many Amens on this one, but the Word is the Word. Our children are bound to do foolish things in life. That’s a part of growing up, but I REFUSE to be brought to shame as his m
other. Many parents make the mistake of trying to befriend their child, which makes parenting their child a catch 22. They worry that the child won’t like them if they correct them. I can understand that ” friend verses disciplidisciplinenarian” relationship as a school counselor. My role on my job is to be a student’s adult friend so to speak. I try to make them feel comfortable enough around me to tell me anything, and for the most part they do because I do not handle discipline in the way an administrator would. Because of that, I have to be really careful not to carry that same mentality home to my own child. I just love it that Gabe loves and even likes being around me, but at the end of the day I would rather he respect me.
In preparation for respect training camp here are a few discipline do’s that I hope to maintain.

Do keep my word. I will try my best to prove to my son that I am a woman of my word and that I follow through. Therefore, I will make every effort not to make promises that I cannot and have no intentions of keeping, particularly when disciplining him. For example, if he does something inappropriate, instead of giving idol threats that may tempt someone to call DSS (use your imagination here) or threatening to cancel the birthday party that I spent lots of time and energy planning, I will correct him with a punishment that is realistic and that fits the crime.

Do keep my cool. As much as my son’s behavior may have an impact on my mood at times, I will try my best not to discipline him when I am angry. That kind of goes back to keeping my word. If I say that I will send him to his room or spank him for doing something wrong, I need to do just that if he decides to continue the behavior before I allow my agitation to flare up. Letting him push the envelope over and over again only grinds my gears the more, and if I’m frustrated I probably won’t do much of the next discipline do, which is…

Do keep teaching. I will try to use discipline as an opportunity to teach, meaning that a spanking should be preceded by a conversation about the behavior and what would have been more acceptable. At times that conversation needs to be focused on what the Word of God says about the behavior. Showing him that obeying me is also obeying God may prove to be more impactful and hopefully encourage his relationship with the Father to deepen. To keep teaching I will also be intentional about modeling appropriate behavior in front of him. That means that the things I may normally do or say before thinking will need to be adjusted for his sake. I am not saying that I will pretend to be superhuman in front of my son, but I am saying that in my effort to practice responding better to upsetting stimuli, I may actually permanently change my reaction to upsetting stimuli. So he benefits by seeing a good example, and I benefit by improving my attitude. We both win!

I know that there will be lots more opportunities to train him as he ages, and I am determined to do it according to God’s standards. It may be hard at times, and I may have my mad-as-heck Madea moments; but I understand the awesome task to which God has called my husband and me. He has entrusted us with the great responsibility to care for, nurture, protect, and mold him through discipline and setting the right example. And we will do those things to set him up for success in this life.

I want to hear from all the parents reading this. What was it like for you when you had to discipline your child for the first time? What advice can you give me or any others who need help with this?

No Competition!

women-no-competition
This week’s guest blogger is none other than the Queen Supreme herself, Ms. Ieshia Farmer. Ieshia was crowned Ms. S.C. Plus America 2015 and is the founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry
(www.facebook.com/esthersjewels). I’ve asked Ieshia to address an issue that I think is unfortunately very relevant in the body of Christ today, especially among women. That is competitive jealousy. I’ve been tempted with it myself and have recently asked the Lord to search my own heart for any sign of that pesky spirit lurking around. I want my heart and all my motives to always remain pure before God so that I can continue to be used by Him. If you’re like me and want to know how to overcome competitive jealousy from a beauty queen and woman of God’s perspective, read on. Speak, Ieshia! 
As a 30-something year old woman, I have experienced, and even contributed to, competing with other women. It can be the smallest things that breed competition: careers, fashion, friendship, and the ultimate one…men. Why do we do this? I have developed my own philosophy for why women compete.
1. We lack confidencompetece in ourselves.
2. We see in other women the things that we don’t see in ourselves.
3. We have allowed society’s standards for us to make us feel like we are inadequate, resulting in seeing other women as a threat.
4. We weren’t taught that we are good enough.
5. We are afraid of not fitting in.
6. We allow our emotions to guide us.
In a world that doesn’t associate femininity with power, we are sometimes forced to direct our disdain toward one another. Instead of seeing the bigger problem, we pinpoint the negative in among ourselves. Isn’t this how the enemy works? He looks for ways to create confusion and separation among God’s people. Where is the easiest place to start? With women! What we don’t always realize is that our influence on the Earth is greater than we will ever know. This is evident dating back to the Garden of Eden in the book of Genesis. Eve’s influence in Adam’s choices was powerful. He may not have even known that he wanted to taste the fruit, but he was so engulfed in Eve’s desire that he didn’t even have the opportunity to think for himself.
I often read posts and quotes that are shared on social media pertaining to women being compared to flowers in a garden. One that stands out is by Miranda Kerr. “A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.” We are all beautiful in our own way. The garden of life is full of so many beautiful, talented women of God. Each flower has a different purpose. The rose is never consumed with the progress of the lily’s growth, it just grows. We should be the same way.
God calls us all to different Kingdom assignments. If we focus on our own personal spiritual growth, we would not be consumed with competing. If we see one another as sisters in Christ, we will learn to be more encouraging. The Earth is large enough for us all to have an influence in the places where God sends us. We are all gifted in so many ways. We must learn to embrace everyone’s gifts. As women, we have to celebrate one another. Stop looking for the flaws in one another. Stop seeing one another as competition. Stop feeling like another one has the upper hand. Stop listening to gossip about and backbiting one another. Stop participating in situations that don’t help us gain any fruit. Embrace the greatness in the next woman, and be satisfied with who you are.
Now let’s discuss. Can you suggest other ways to overcome competitive jealousy among one another? Don’t forget to like, comment, and share if this has blessed you.
Ieshia FarmFB_IMG_1466649032404er was born, raised, and currently resides in Sumter, South Carolina. She is the Co-Founder of Ragin Preparatory
Christian Academy in Sumter, Founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry, and  member of Kingdom M-Pact Worship Center.