Archive for Briana

Be Ye Not Unequally…Educated?

Posted on November 4, 2014 by

Education concept

Have you ever dated a guy who was not on your level in the education department?  He had the looks, the charm, the swag and everything else going for him, but no papers–or at least not as many papers as you have.  Is this a reason NOT to date him?  Are the two of you doomed for disaster due to your difference in degrees?  I doubt it, but let’s explore this further.

I have experienced this first hand–TWICE!

The first experience was not so great.  This particular young man was handsome, sweet, loved God, and treated me with respect.  He got an A+ in the character department.  The one thing he lacked–a high school diploma.  You read it correctly.  No diploma. No GED.  No NOTHING!  I really don’t know what I was thinking.  Well, actually I do.  I was thinking that his educational background didn’t matter as long as we liked each other and as long as he had a strong relationship with God (homeboy could pray up something, ya hear?).  I was also thinking that I wanted a significant other in my life so badly that I was willing to overlook this one thing.  But soon (in a matter of a couple of weeks) my thinking began to change. What would things be like when I took him around my friends?  Would he be able to keep up with the conversation?  If we did marry one day and have children, what type of example would that set for them?  And most importantly, how in the heck would he take care of me financially when he didn’t have enough education to get a real job?  Immediately, I was delivered from naiveness.  There was no way that would work for me.  Sure, everything was hunky dory now, but down the line things would get too complicated. So I moved on.

The second experience was a success.  This guy was also very handsome, sweet, kind, loved God, and treated me with respect.  He also had an A+ in the character department.  However, he had one up on the first guy because at least he did have a high school diploma.  Okay so no college degree. At the time I was working on my Master’s degree, so that put me two levels above him educationally.  Deal breaker?  Nah, because I married him.

Now I was still concerned about the same things as before, but I have been reassured.  When my husband and I spend time with my friends, he can hold his own in a conversation.  Shoot, he knows more about a lot of things than I do.  I don’t have to worry about him setting a bad example for our children because he is currently in college and doing quite well.  And although he makes less money than me now, he still takes care of me financially because that bacon comes home to me.  AND by the time he finishes this degree, he’ll be earning more than enough to provide for our household by means of a real job.

So what am I saying?  It really comes down to personal preference and the fact that no two men, even with the same educational standing, are the same.  Some want more for themselves and some don’t.  Some are willing to pursue an education and some just aren’t.  Some just want something different–to chart a different path so to speak.  And that’s cool, as long as he’s headed in the right direction.  Sometimes it boils down to the reason why he hasn’t gotten that degree.  Maybe he lacked the financial resources to go.  Maybe a few poor grades in high school made acceptance difficult.  Maybe he knows that there are jobs and business opportunities out there now that don’t require a degree and pay more money.  (It’s true you know.)  Maybe he’s smart, but just too lazy to apply himself.  The reason in and of itself could make the difference in whether it’s a good idea to date him.  And face it.  College isn’t for everybody.  So, I think it should be considered on a case-by-case basis.

Consider this…according to the National Center for Education Statistics, “The 6-year graduation rate was 56 percent for males and 61 percent for females; it was higher for females than for males at both public (60 vs. 54 percent) and private nonprofit institutions (68 vs. 63 percent).”  Either way you look at it, female college graduates outnumber male college graduates.  That means, more than likely, a few somebodies will be unequally educated when they marry.

At the end of the day, who you date is up to you.  Your parents and friends who may give you a hard time about this issue only have your best interests in mind, but if all they care about is the socioeconomic status and educational standing of the person you date, there are other more important things they should be concerned with–like the way he treats you and his character. That is what truly makes the man, not the degree hanging or NOT hanging on the wall.

I hope this blesses somebody.  Again, I’m not judgin’.  I’m just sayin’.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this topic also.  Feel free to share your experiences and insights.  Does education matter in a dating/marriage relationship?

2 comments Posted in Dating, Relationship with Others

I’m Strong Enough to Do THIS

Posted on November 3, 2014 by

“Just thinking about the Steve Harvey morning show this morning, and I’m so glad Steve Harvey set that woman straight. She said she was putting up with a man’s behavior because she is a Christian and that was her weakness. Hold up, Christianity is not a weakness. It teaches forgiveness, but anyone who knows me personally knows I can forgive you and walk away at the same time if I am being disrespected. Christianity is a strength. I am strong enough to bite my tongue and not let you bring me into my flesh. I am strong enough to walk away and not entertain foolishness. I am strong enough to forgive and not hold grudges.  I can speak to you and love you as if you did nothing wrong. I am also strong enough to trust God that he has someone who is tailor made for me.  So I don’t worry about the past.  I look towards the future.”  Written by Capitola Vaughn

She betta say that!

I didn’t actually hear this particular radio broadcast this morning, but if I had, I would probably have had the same reaction to this caller’s ignorant comment.  First of all, Christianity is NOT a weakness.  The world’s way is easy, but it takes real strength to walk according to the Word.  Our example, Jesus Christ was meek and humble, but He was definitely no punk!  To suffer such brutality and then to die a horrendous death for wrongs he did not commit is the epitome of strength.  And when the Holy Ghost came after Christ’s resurrection, he transferred His power and strength to us.  Maybe this caller needs to learn a little more about who she really is and who is inside of her–THE GREATER ONE.

Let’s prove that Christianity equals strength.  How has having Christ in your life helped you exhibit strength?  What are you strong enough to do?

9 comments Posted in Relationship with God

Want It, Need It, Gotta Have It

Posted on November 2, 2014 by

Study

The other day while praying for a friend of mine, I was led to pray that she get so close to God that she become addicted to Him.  As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew that I needed the same thing for myself.  “Help me to be addicted to your Word, Lord,” I prayed.  I want to need it, desire it, and do all I can to get it every day no matter what.  I think it’s an addiction that all Christians should have.

My desire to become addicted led me to Job 23:12.  It says, “…I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.”  Job points out that food is necessary for our survival, but the Word of God is, let’s say, SUPER necessary.  He also uses an interesting word to express his treatment of the Word–esteem.  I looked this word up and found out that to esteem something means to hide, hoard or reserve it.  Job was apparently taking in so much Word that he had built up a Word stash.  You weren’t going to find him suffering from Word withdrawal.  He had plenty to sustain him through the trials of life (he had a lot of those), and he kept his supply coming daily.  Talk about an addict.  Job set the bar high with this one.  How many of us can honestly say that we are that committed to the study of God’s Word?  That we treasure it more than the food we eat?  I know I can’t.  If I did, I would make sure that I partake of it as often as I partake of natural food, if not more–breakfast, lunch, and dinner and snacks in between–EVERY DAY like clockwork.  I do love God’s Word or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I have a healthy respect for it.  I get excited when I hear it, I can talk about it to others, and I even live it in most cases.  But do I really give it the respect that it deserves?  My prayer for myself and for you is that we will become addicted to the Word and STAY addicted.  So, besides praying for this total dependency on the Word, what is my part in ensuring that this becomes a reality daily?  I think a mind change is in order first.  I must see spiritual food differently.

I like to eat just as much as the next person, but my perspective on eating has changed a bit since I’ve been striving to lower my cholesterol and lose some excess fat around my mid section. What I’ve learned about a weight trainer’s diet is that it’s important to eat for fuel so that our muscles can grow.  That goes totally against what the food industry, the media, and every doughnut shop around me promote, which is to eat for pleasure.  I’ve found that healthy eating is not always a pleasurable experience because I cannot indulge in any and everything that tastes good, if it is not good for me.  It is easy to get bored with clean eating, and our flesh would have us to believe the same thing about the daily study of God’s Word.

While reading the Word of God is not always a pleasurable experience to our flesh, it is indeed spiritual fuel to help you function to your fullest God-ordained potential.  We need it to build ourselves up spiritually.  So no matter how dry or routine your study sessions may have been in the past, it can be a very fulfilling experience.  He rewards those who diligently seek him (Hebrews 11:6)  So don’t give up.  Once you’ve tapped into revelation and have seen the results of quality time spent with Him, you won’t ever want to stop.  I know because I have been there before.  I just need to return to that place FAST.

I think it also goes back to being consistent.  I know in my heart of hearts that if I can spend an hour in the gym 4 to 5 days a week, then surely I can spend time each day in the Word.  I know which is more important, but it’s just like my Pastor says, the proof is not in what you know, it’s in what you do with what you know that matters.  My goal is to manage my distractions and prioritize my day to make God’s Word a priority, not just on Sunday morning or Wednesday night, but everyday.

If that isn’t motivation enough, think about this.  The enemy sure doesn’t want us to get to this point because he knows the outcome of a life filled with the Word–victory, blessings, good success, peace, and prosperity.  Yes, the Word of God is a powerful substance that can hook you if you let it.  But don’t worry.  This addiction will never lead to an overdose because you can’t ever get too much of it.

I’d like to hear your thoughts.  If you have already established a daily appointment with God and His Word, what is it like for you?  If not, what is your goal to establish this in your life?

No comments Posted in Relationship with God
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