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While riding in my car recently, I heard a very interesting question posed on the radio.

“Are there any good men left?” the radio announcer asked, repeating a caller’s inquiry.  The broadcasters all commented that this is the age-old question that should have been answered years ago, but has found its way back into conversation.  Well, I’d hate to answer a question with a question, but I feel it is necessary.

To answer the caller’s question one must consider this one…Are you a good woman?

Now one might argue that we should be defining what “good” really is, but I beg to differ since that term can mean so many different things to different people.  Does good mean that he has a good job with good pay and benefits and doesn’t mind sharing it with you?  Does good mean he’s good-looking and has a wonderful personality to match?  Does good mean he holds religious convictions and actually follows them in his daily life?  Or does good mean a combination of them all?  It’s too subjective to say the least.  What’s important to me may not be important to millions of other women out there.  So to spend time discussing whether or not good men exist is a waste of time if you ask me.  It would be more objective and meaningful to take a self-reflective approach and apply your own definition of good to yourself.

Do I have a good job with good pay and benefits and don’t mind sharing?  Yes.  Am I good-looking with a wonderful personality to match?  Yes.  Do I hold religious convictions and actually follow them in my daily life?  Yes.  Am I a good woman? Absolutely!  To question whether or not there are any good men or women left in the world is to question your own goodness or worth.  I believe that you attract what you are, so do not be what you do not want.  Once I heard a woman say that before she lost 50 pounds she thought people stayed away from her because she was fat.  After she lost the weight a friend told her that when she was fat no one could stand her attitude.  The revelation is, it’s not your physical state that repels people in most cases, it’s what emanates from the inside and how you make people feel when they are around you.  Do you want a man who’s confident?  Then boost your own confidence.  Do you want a man who has goals and the tenacity to accomplish them?  Then be a go getter yourself.  Do you want a man who trusts you?  Then learn to trust others.  Do you want a man with high moral standards?  Then raise yours.

Before anyone thinks that I have discovered some hidden truth, let me say that the truth has already been written–the Word of God.  So let every word be established by two or three witnesses.  In Luke 6:37-38 it says “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure that ye meet withal it shall be measured to you again.  That sounds to me like drawing what you are and receiving what you dish out.  My second witness comes from Proverbs 18:24 part a which says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.”  That, again, sounds like being the type of person you want to attract.  In essence, to draw a good man be a good woman.  To attract a better man, be a better woman.

So my friends, remember that it’s easy to impose all these stipulations onto another person, but are you willing to be what you are desiring your mate to be?  If you are already the things you desire in your mate, then you just rest assured that not only is he coming your way, but he’ll be coming correct.  If you’re not quite in the state you desire yet, that’s okay too.  You have a wonderful opportunity called singleness to make the necessary adjustments.  With God, all things are possible!

I’m not judging.  I’m just sayin’.

Written by Briana Whitaker