An Expectant Mother’s Prayer

Posted on May 10, 2015 by

IMG_0422Eight weeks ago I found out the best and the scariest news of my life–that I was going to be a mom. It was the best news because my husband and I had been trying to conceive for 3 years and God had finally honored our prayers and given us the physical manifestation of His promise. It was the scariest news because I knew my life was about to change forever. No more “only child” excuses or getting up when I feel like it on off days. I will have someone else totally depending on me to provide them with everything. But change is good. Here I am now on the cusp of my second trimester and feeling extremely thankful that God has favored me to carry this child and humbled because I realize I cannot raise this child without His help. Yes, I have the support of my wonderful husband, mother, best friend, family members and covenant partners from my church, but ultimately my help comes from the Lord.

So this is my prayer today. Gracious Father, thank you for favoring me and blessing my womb to carry this child of promise. I am not deceived to think that I can enter into motherhood without your aid, counsel, or anointing…nor do I want to. So Lord, help me to be the godly mother that you have called me to be. One who is full of wisdom, unconditional love, and the boldness to stand on the Word when teaching my children that Your way is right. Help me to be a positive example always: to put the Word in the midst of my children, discipline them in love as you do me, to teach them to tithe, to praise You, to serve You wholeheartedly, and to live a life that is pleasing in Your sight.  Help me, Father, to put You first daily before my husband, my children, and myself so that I can minister to their needs out of a full spirit. Clothe me, oh God, in strength and honor so that my children will rise one day and call me blessed because of the good seeds that I have sown into their lives. And I will forever give you the glory, honor, and praise. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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To Find or To Be Found?–That is the Question

Posted on March 30, 2015 by

wifeIs finding a mate just on “The Man”, and does that mean it’s improper for a single woman to let a man know she’s interested? This was the question posed on the Single and Saved Radio Show recently, and here’s my response.

The scripture in question on this day’s talk was Proverbs 18:22, which says,

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

I can see how a woman would think that this scripture renders her passive and powerless in this whole dating process. It puts me in the mind of a scene in a romance novel where an unsuspecting woman sitting in a restaurant just minding her own business is being admired from afar by a guy searching for love. Then in the midst of his gaze their eyes meet. Flirty smiles and glances are exchanged, and then the guy makes his way over to her and says something charming like, “What is a beautiful woman like yourself doing sitting here all alone?” From there the rest is history. That’s the fantasy most women wish would happen, but I don’t think that’s the rule. And it’s definitely not how my love story began.

The way my husband and I met may not have fairy tale status, but I still believe that what we have is one of a kind. This may sound crazy, but my husband did not have me to think about before we met, not because he didn’t find me attractive, but because he didn’t want to be known as “that guy” who dated all the women in the church. So, I was actually interested in him first. But let me be clear on this. I DID NOT PURSUE HIM! All I did was express indirect interest in him, and he took it from there. Here’s how.

Russell had been going to my church for years, but I nor anybody else knew much about him because he only came on Sundays and vanished immediately after service was over. He never parlayed to enjoy the fellowship or to get to know anyone. Come to find out, he worked nights and a swing shift on top of that, which was why he never made it to Bible Study and why he didn’t have much time to hang around. Well, after some time I noticed that he was coming to church more often. He showed up at Bible study, Friday night services, and even a few events on Saturdays. Something had obviously changed, and it had. His job schedule shifted, which allowed him more time for ministry. Now, I wouldn’t say that I was attracted to him at the time, but I was now aware of his presence.

But that changed one fateful Friday night. I was singing with the praise and worship team when all of a sudden this guy walked in church with a fresh low hair cut, some jeans that fit quite nicely, and a t-shirt revealing some pretty chiseled arms. Honestly speaking, it took me straight out of worship. Is that Brother Whitaker? I asked myself, totally losing focus of the song. (Forgive me, Lord!) You see before this particular night, Russell sported an afro (which I wasn’t too fond of), and the only clothes I had ever seen him in were suits that hid his physique. Needless to say, this was a very pleasant surprise. Yet, I still maintained my distance.

A few weeks later, I had the pleasure of hearing him speak in tongues and genuinely praise God before others in a worship service. Okay, at that point I moved from noticing, to attraction, to intrigue. He’s faithful, fine, and filled? I thought. I wanted to know more, but I still maintained my distance. I thought long and hard about how I could get to know him without seeming too forward because I didn’t want to be seen as the type to chase a man. So, I prayed about it and I talked to the one person I knew could give me sound counsel on how to proceed, my Pastor. As soon as I mentioned wanting to get to know Russell, he thought it was a great idea! “But how do I get to know him without being so obvious?” I asked. I couldn’t believe what he said next.

“You just need someone to talk to him for you, and I’ll do it” he offered. My eyes shot back and forth, and my mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“Sir?” I asked, frightened and confused at the same time. “I’ll talk to him the next time I see him,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

The next few days felt like an eternity. I was so nervous because I didn’t know what he was going to say to him and more importantly I didn’t know what Russell’s reaction would be. The moment finally came, and I kind of hoped that my Pastor would forget what he said he would do, but he didn’t. When I saw the two of them talking I ran and hid. Can you imagine a 28-year-old woman hiding from a man? I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that was me, but it was. If you thought that first week felt like eternity, then the week following their “talk” felt like eternity to the 10th power. Sunday rolled around again, and I did at least muster up enough nerve to speak to Russell, but that was the extent of the conversation that day. I was a little disappointed because I figured he wasn’t interested in me, but I was also relieved because at least I knew where I stood and could stop wondering and move on. Little did I know, Russell was using that time to muster up enough courage to approach me. After church the next Sunday this is what I heard.

“Sister Bre, can I talk to you?” He must have been listening to Jodeci before church.

“Okay,” I said, trying to remain calm and bracing myself for a “I just want to be friends” conversation. We proceeded to walk into the parking lot for a little privacy.

“You seem to be a really nice person, and I’d like to get to know you better,” he continued. “Can I take you out sometime?” Did he just ask me out? I thought. This is not how I thought this was going to turn out. Pastor must have really made him think.

“I think we can make that happen,” I responded slow enough not to seem anxious yet fast enough to still show interest. From there, we exchanged numbers and talked on the phone several times before we actually went on out. Our first date was actually about 2 or 3 weeks later because of our busy schedules, but ever since that first date we’ve been inseparable.

So to be more explicit on the issue of whether or not it’s okay for a woman to let a man know that she’s interested, I would say that it is perfectly okay to show interest as long as she uses discretion and leaves it at that. Once that man sees that she is available and willing to entertain him, the ball is in his court. How he chooses to proceed is up to him. Just to reiterate, I don’t think it is cool for women to pursue men. I just think it’s acceptable to help a brother out with some subtle clues. Guys don’t like rejection either, so clues from you can reassure him that his efforts to pursue you won’t be met with resistance.

I want to leave you with this little tidbit I found while digging into Proverbs 18:22 more deeply. The meaning of the word “findeth” or matsa’ in the Hebrew language is to come forth to, appear or exist, to attain, to occur, to meet or be present, cause to find out, or cause to find occasion. That sounds to me like an introduction or opportunity and not necessarily a scavenger hunt. My pastor simply caused Russell to find out about me, and I was available to be found out about. Think about how Adam met Eve. He did not search for her. She was presented to him by God. There was his opportunity standing right before him. Even Ruth took advantage of an opportunity (as instructed by her mother-in-law, Naomi) to be in Boaz’s presence by gleaning in His fields. That was not a chance encounter or one that Boaz went searching for either. There she was right before his eyes. The rest was up to him. Now, ladies, I am not suggesting here that you use your most cunning feminine wiles to create these situations where you are always in a particular man’s face. That is border-line stalking. I am suggesting that you use wisdom given by the Lord and simply be attractive (but not slutty), available (but not easy), and obvious (but not a stalker). If you do that and above all else trust your Heavenly Father, He will ensure that the encounter you do have with the man He has chosen for you will be one to remember.

 

If you agree with me and even if you don’t, let me here your opinion in the comment section below. I’d love to hear thoughts from the single ladies and the stories from married ladies about how you and your husband met, so let’s chat.

 

 

 

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KISSING–A Crucial Component of Christian Publishing

Posted on March 4, 2015 by

no_kissing_signBefore your mind travels to the gutter, let me tell you that this post is not about kissing in the traditional sense. It’s about publishing and what to do after your book has emerged from the printing press–when the hard work of writing it has ended and the even harder work of promoting it has begun. What? Did you think you could sit back, relax, and watch your book sales rise without work? Sorry to burst your bubble, my friend, but that ain’t happenin’–not in the indie publishing world anyway. So the tip I will share with you today is essential, especially for the Christian writer. It is summed up in this acronym… KISS–Keep It Spiritual Sweetie!

Now, what do I mean by keeping it spiritual? If you are a Christian writer, your content will already be based on spiritual principles (let’s hope so anyway). But I’m talking about ways in which your content will reach the masses. So beyond the book’s spiritual content there are spiritual things you can do to spread the Good News of Christ and at the same time experience publishing success. Here’s what I did and am doing to “keep it spiritual” in my publishing journey.

1. Dedicate the book back to God. My launch party and book signing wasn’t an ordinary book launch and signing. It was a ceremony, so to speak. I had the food, the music, and the books, but I also had prayer, a theme scripture, and an occasion read because I wanted everyone in attendance to know that this was both a celebration for what God had done in my life and an official send off of my book baby into the world to be used by God to bless lives. Most importantly, I used this moment to have my book baby dedicated back unto the Lord, much like new parents do with their children. The Biblical figure, Hannah, also did this when she bore Samuel.

They first butchered the bull, then brought the child to Eli. Hannah said, “Excuse me, sir. Would you believe that I’m the very woman who was standing before you at this very spot, praying to God? I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I have dedicated him to God. He’s dedicated to God for life. Then and there, they worshiped God.           (1 Samuel 1:25-26 Message)

Like Hannah, I prayed that God would help me write this book, and He gave me what I asked for. Dedicating it back to Him was just the right and spiritual thing to do. I did this by asking my Pastor and Elect Lady (Pastor’s wife) to say a special prayer over the book for its success at the launch party. As he prayed he held it in His hands. I believe that the prayers and the anointed touch of the man and woman of God have hugely impacted the success of my book. Instead of it being just another interesting read, it is actually changing mindsets and thus changing lives. That’s not because of me. It’s because of the anointing, and I don’t want anything I do to be void of God’s anointing. It makes all the difference in Heaven and on Earth.

2. Pray that God would touch the hearts of potential buyers. I’m not the best salesman there is. Sometimes it’s challenging to talk to people about a product in a way that will convince them to buy it. Add to the equation that it is your own product, and you’ve got an even bigger challenge because it’s almost like selling yourself. I admit that the ability to sell yourself is a good quality to have, but what has compensated for my lack of skills in that area is prayer. My prayer is that God would draw the buyers and supporters in and that the book would sell itself without any gimmicks or resorting to begging. Although I have tried to use free giveaways to appeal to my audience, I’ve learned that if someone is going to invest in a meaningful product they will do it despite any additional add-ons because it’s in their heart to do so. How do I know that the Lord has the ability to influence the heart’s of men and women? Because He said so in His Word.

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. (Proverbs 21:1 KJV)

After all, it’s not about me as the messenger, it’s about the message, so whomever needs to hear it will hear it in God’s time and in His way.

3. Trust Him to provide opportunities. 

For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God nis the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. (Psalms 75:6 KJV)

Remembering that promotion comes from above has helped me to put my promotion efforts in the proper perspective. Before I published “Wait on God” I never had any plans beyond that. I didn’t see myself speaking or doing book talks. My goal was to simply get it done. Now that it’s done, my view has been altered. I desire to get the message out to as many people as possible, but I don’t want to become consumed by that desire. It can easily happen. The drive for success and progress can cause us to focus on what we can do ourselves to open doors and forget that it’s much better and classier to allow God to be the gentleman He is and open doors for us. Case in point, I’ve had speaking engagements and vendor opportunities to come my way without me inviting them. It seems like the opportunities I sought didn’t work out anyway. Besides, my small doors are no comparison to the God-sized doors that my Heavenly Father can take off the hinges for me.

I’ve also learned that being in business for yourself requires a lot of commitment and time. Time that in some cases I do not have with all of the other responsibilities on my plate like my job, ministry work, and my family. To keep from neglecting those responsibilities, I have to trust God to provide opportunities for me to promote my book. I could pursue each and every opportunity that I can find, but it would be at the cost of something else really important in many instances. If God is responsible for your promotion, then you don’t have to worry. He will NOT disappoint or fall short on His job. He will make every opportunity that you do take advantage of benefit you far more than the ones you pursue on your own while neglecting your other obligations in the process. Yeah, that means you may have to turn some events down when there’s a scheduling conflict in favor of things that are higher in priority, but this is a sign of your trust in God’s ability to put you in the right path, at the right time, with the right people. God’s opportunities are always golden opportunities, and whatever you do with and for Christ will last!

One comment Posted in Publishing Pointers
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