Working on “Us”

Posted on April 21, 2016 by

bookI’m about to share a very intimate moment that my husband and I had recently (with his permission of course). We started doing a book study on marriage together a few weeks ago to help reconnect us after having a new baby in the house. You parents know how a marriage can experience strain with the introduction of a child. The child gets most of the attention and well, spouses get very little from each other unless it is directly relating to the child. So we decided we needed to work on “us” again.

While studying one particular chapter on irreconcilable differences, I was reminded of how good a man my husband is and more importantly how godly he is. I admitted to him that at times in the past I have felt like he has put me on the back burner for other things like work and church. Of all the things I could complain about, there I was giving the man a hard time about two very important aspects of our lives. As I said it, I could hear how petty I sounded complaining about how he rushes out the door on his way to work (he has more than enough time to get there), which means that we don’t have time for the lingering goodbyes I’d prefer; and how adamant he is to get to church on time every Sunday that he doesn’t seem to mind if I miss breakfast in the process or leaving me behind to drive myself. Those things actually annoyed me until he shared some profound wisdom that made me feel extra foolish and extra proud to be his wife all at once.

“Being at church on time is important to me because I know that I need God’s help to take care of my family,” he said. “That’s where our blessings come from.”

It was simply put, but spoke volumes about his faith and the depths of his heart for me. His motivation is to be a provider for us, and he’s doing it by faith. As I’ve mentioned in Wait on God, I currently make more money than my husband does, but he is still a provider nonetheless. First and foremost, he is providing the spiritual covering that we need. As far as money goes, He knows that a job is just a resource, but God is THE source. He knows that the favor of God is worth more than any amount of money on a paycheck. He knows that he is accountable to God for the well-being of our family. He is standing on the promise that if we obey and serve Him we shall spend our days in prosperity and our years in pleasures, (Job 36:11) and that as the head of our family it starts with him. That also explained to me why he’s so determined to get to work early each day. He wants to insure that he honors God even on his job for the benefit of our family. And isn’t that what we want–a man who loves God more than he loves us, so that he can in fact love us the way the Father intends for us as wives to experience love according to Ephesians 5:25?

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

So married ladies (especially those of us who are heavily involved in ministry), take it from me. Before you give your husband a hard time about his spiritual and natural convictions that you don’t understand, consider how those things communicate his commitment to and his sacrifice for you and your family. You just might be like me and fall in love all over again.

I’d like to hear from you. How have you and your spouse stayed emotionally connected after having children? Please share!

9 comments Posted in Marriage, Relationship with Others, Uncategorized

Alter Your Spiritual Taste Buds to Receive God’s Best

Posted on March 21, 2016 by

There’s a familiarbitter taste phrase that says “God has a way, and His way is mighty sweet.” David, the psalmist, was the first to share this insight in Psalms 119:103 when he compared God’s Word to honey.

How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment, but it makes me think. If God’s Word is so sweet then why do we get a bitter taste in our mouths when we are corrected by it or when our lifestyles are challenged by it’s commands?

Perhaps you’ve been there. You sit in church service listening to the Word and all of a sudden the pastor hits a subject that makes you squirm in the pew. Ordinarily you would jump for joy, run around the church or do a spiritual food dance, but for some reason this subject tasted like castor oil going down. Your flesh doesn’t like it, but you take it anyway because you know you need it.

Does an experience like that make the Word of God any less sweet? Absolutely not! As believers we do not walk or live by our senses anyway so the sweet quality of the Word has nothing to do with your taste buds or even how you feel about it. It has everything to do with its pleasant effect on your life when you put it into practice. Sweet in this context means agreeable, satisfying, gratifying, good, and acceptable. This description reminds me of Romans 12:2 part B.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

If I use my spiritual translation it would read like this. That ye may prove what is that “sweet” and perfect will of God (God’s way). Yes, despite how challenging it may be to our flesh, God’s way is sweet because it benefits us in so many ways. We just have to do part A of that scripture–be transformed by renewing our minds–to truly taste and see it that way. Here are a few promises found in the Word that may encourage a shift in perspective and change your palate to prefer God’s way over any other way.

  • “When a man’s ways please the Lord he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. “Proverbs 16:7
  • “If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land.” Isaiah 1:19
  • “Ye shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land which ye shall possess.” Deuteronomy 5:33
  • “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.” John 15:7
  • “If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love.” John 1:10

There are countless other benefits in this life and in the life to come, but that’s enough to shout about right there! Don’t be fooled either. These are far better than what Satan can offer as an alternative to following his way instead. Not doing the will of God may be the easy option and following God’s way may challenge you beyond where you think you can go, but trust me the bitter truth makes for a better you–one who can receive the SWEETEST and BEST that the blood of Christ has secured for you.

 

 

2 comments Posted in Relationship with God

Pushing Past Pessimism

Posted on March 15, 2016 by

imageA few weeks ago I facilitated my first Wait on God workshop at a church in Garner, North Carolina, and it was awesome! God showed up in our midst and blessed the people. He did exceeding abundantly above all that I thought and even asked for, and I felt confident in my future as a speaker. But the night before was a different story.

I was up until 3 am after a three-hour drive. There was no rest before getting on the road either. I worked all day, then went home to finish packing, and then I had a church service to attend. Needless to say, I was tired.com. Knowing that I still had some finishing touches to do for my presentation added some stress on top of my sleepiness. Self doubt and discouragement began to set in. You should just stick to writing books and leave the workshops alone, was the thought that shot across my mind at that moment considering all the preparation involved in presenting workshops. I followed it up. I was too tired to fight back. Yeah this is just way too much! I thought. I would be too tired to function let alone teach a workshop. I envied my husband who was sleeping soundly next to me as I plucked away at the keyboard, eyes stinging from the lack of sleep. I counted the amount of hours I’d be able to get if I laid down right then. A whopping 3 hours. I decided to take advantage of those few hours and finish gathering my thoughts after my nap.

I woke up feeling physically drained and still a little hesitant about how the workshop would flow. Again, this was my first time doing one and the fear of the unknown was very real. I couldn’t back out now. There was a group of about 20-25 ladies awaiting my arrival. I began to pray in the Holy Ghost as I got dressed, during the ride to the church, and during set up. Lord knows I needed to get out of my head (rational thinking), and I needed His direction and anointing to flow.

And flow it did. It felt to me as if I had been doing this for years. It felt like I knew these women all along. I was so comfortable and in my element. And they received. Now, I could credit ten years of teaching and every other life experience of talking to others that I’ve had for this sense of ease, but I don’t. Rather, I thank Christ Jesus my Lord, who has enabled me and counted me faithful to do this service in His name. I’m also thankful to God that I pushed past the pessimistic mindset that the enemy wanted me to adopt. If I had let the doubt paralyze me I would not have realized the potential that God put in me nor would the ladies have benefited from His gifting in me. And I encourage you to push beyond negativity so that you can experience the good success that God intends for you to experience and you can bless those whom God has put in your path to bless.

So what is the lesson in this? I learned two things from that experience that I will use going forward to prevent the spirit of pessimism from falling on me.

  1. Adopt a positive mantra (confession) for success. I am a firm believer that confession brings possession and that words have power. If success is what I desire, and the Word indicates that I can have success (Joshua 1:8) then I must believe that I do have success. But I can’t say it only once and expect results. That makes it only a statement. What makes it a confession is the ongoing nature of it. Repeating it over and over until it becomes a part of me. This process is transformative because it transforms the mind to think this way and ultimately become this way. If my mind is already programmed for success, there’s no way that it can be tricked into thinking otherwise.
  2. Trust God for success. Once you’ve done all the preparing you can possibly do, all that’s left to do is trust God to bless the works of your hands and give the increase. The sign of success for me at the end of this workshop was for my audience to receive something that would impact their lives. That I cannot do on my own and to think that I can is putting undo pressure on myself and displacing my trust. I need God to breathe life into my words so that they penetrate the hearts and bring about the necessary change.

So, what is it that you’ve been putting off doing as a result of listening to the wrong voice? And what steps can you take to push forward and into the destiny that God has predestined for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to comment below. 🙂

 

3 comments Posted in Relationship with God, Uncategorized
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