Archive for Relationship with Others

Styled by Seduction or Sanctification?

I was once mistaken for a groupie back in the day. Hard to believe, right? I’m pretty conservative or modest in my appearance now, but as a young woman I intentionally wore outfits to draw attention from the opposite sex. That was until someone actually propositioned me for sex based on my appearance.

 

How dare he?! I was offended. I was appalled. Why would he think that I would give it up? Well, he was perverted in his thinking to make that assumption about me, but it wasn’t all on him. I suggested something to him with what I was or was not wearing. So today I ask the saints of God…what are your clothes saying to the people around you?

I know someone may be thinking, “Wait a minute now, don’t go messing with my clothes because ain’t nothing wrong with dressing sexy.”

True. There is nothing wrong with dressing sexy (revealing) in a setting that is meant to be sexy (ie. date night with the husband or in the privacy of your own home), but besides that we have to be mindful to keep it classy and sanctified. When I say sanctified I don’t mean skirts down to your ankles with turtlenecks in the summer. I mean dressing in a way that exudes godliness, not with the intent to enhance those lady lumps to the point of distraction for our brothers. (ie. boobs out, pants, dresses, and skirts so tight that nothing is left to the imagination.) I mean nothing.

Listen, I’m a skinny girl for the most part and I’ve been working out lately. The obliques are popping for sure, but do I wear mid-drift tops? No. Not because I can’t, but because I choose not to reveal my goodies to the world. That treat is for my husband’s eyes only. I know we love attention as women. Sure, it makes us feel good when a man compliments our figures, but we shouldn’t seek that kind of attention. Consider this quote from MatthiasMedia.com.

 

“Immodest dress, flirtatious glances and seductive body language designed to attract male attention are just as ungodly as the lustful thoughts they provoke. When I stop seeing men as potential suitors and start seeing them as brothers in Christ, I won’t resent restrictions like the need to dress modestly; love will transform the way I dress, act and speak.”

Instead of subconsciously provoking men to lust after us, let’s consciously provoke them to love and to good works. (Hebrews 10:24)

Have any of you besides me ever transformed your dress to align with your Christian morals and values?

In Too Deep?

4369ec7c5ba1187e2997b8e07c28a0d4It’s been a long while since I last posted. Not because I haven’t wanted to or been thinking about it but because well…life just got in the way. Please forgive me. I couldn’t resist posting about this topic after a conversation I had with someone recently. She admitted that she found herself in a relationship that was no good for her spiritually and was beginning to see the consequences of it. Had she gone too far to turn back? Was she in too deep to get out? I think not. Here’s a word of encouragement to anyone who may believe that making the effort to walk in your deliverance is a lost cause. I pray that it blesses somebody.   

Are you in a situation that you know you need to come out of because it’s just no good for you, but you feel like you’re in too deep? Take heart, my friend. There is no situation too massive for God’s love to cover and no degree of sin greater than the measure of God’s grace.

He tells us about those pesky temptations and where we stand when it comes to them.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Cor. 10:13 NLT

I get a couple of things out of this scripture that reveal God’ plan for those of us battling and by faith delivered from strongholds whatever they may be.

  1. You are not alone. There’s something comforting and yet sobering about knowing that the junk you’re dealing with is the same junk others are dealing with and have dealt with. Not to make light of your struggle, but keep this in mind. Your situation is not so rare that it doesn’t lend itself to a cure. Your problem isn’t so unique that it doesn’t lend itself to a solution. Not only are there others out there who can relate to your struggle, but there are people who can relate to it and reveal how they overcame it. Hearing someone else’s testimony can provide the motivation and encouragement you need to believe that you too can be free of anything that has held you captive. God is not a respecter of persons. If he can deliver one he can deliver all.
  2.  You are stronger than you realize. You may feel like you’re drowning in sin or so far out of God’s reach because of a few bad decisions you’ve made, but God already knew you were graced to overcome the very thing you think you can’t. No one else can strut through and out of the struggle quite like you can. Winning is in your spiritual DNA. You have the necessary equipment on the inside to denounce the demons trying to inhabit your life, to make a change for the better, and to finally realize the victory you’ve been given through Christ. Accept it.
  3. God has your exit strategy already in place. Your job is to find out what it is by seeking it out in His Word. Read about Jesus who was tempted in the wilderness and how he strategically escaped the devil’s temptations. He responded to every temptation with the Word of God that directly contradicted the devil’s lies. Even when satan used scripture to back up his lie, Jesus threw back another scripture against it. There’s no way around this truth…faith comes by hearing the Word of God. So if you desire to overcome, you must overcome by faith. The only way that you will have the faith needed is by hearing God’s Word concerning the temptation. Read it and receive the faith you need to succeed.

I’ll leave you with this. If you can have faith for God to save you and you believe that Christ died for you, was buried for three days, and was resurrected, you can have faith for Him to deliver you from daily sins/strongholds. Christ thought it was so important that He died for the cause–your cause. Your deliverance and victory is totally worth every step you take to walk deeply in it.  So deeply that no devil in Hell can draw you out.

Rise and G.R.I.N.D

sanctimommy-meme-18Picture it. You walk into your house after a long day at work. You realize that you are knee deep in housework: baskets full of dirty laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a tub in need of a scrub await you. Your husband asks, “What’s for dinner?” while your infant child cries to the top of his lungs for your attention. You have Bible study in an hour and have to prepare to teach your class. In the recess of your mind you think about the presentation you need to prepare for work in a few days and the brownies you promised to make for your friend’s baby shower this weekend. You desperately want a moment of solitude to just breathe right now, but the sound of the clock ticking away just won’t allow that. Does this sound familiar?

As a servant in the house of God, a wife, mother, a working professional, and entrepreneur it is all too familiar to me. Like many women, I have a lot on my plate. A LOT! I love what I do for the Lord, my family, the children I serve on my job, and the people who are inspired by my writing, but sometimes the load of it all can be quite overwhelming. Just thinking about all the things that I need to do can send me into crisis management mode where common everyday tasks that I know full well have to be done are a sudden emergency. The result is running around like a chicken with my head cut off, getting snippy with people who are really not the problem, and basically just trying to get my to-do list DONE which sometimes means the quality of the things on the list suffers. That is if I don’t make a plan for them.

Plan? Some people’s plan would involve eliminating a few things to avoid being so busy. Well there is nothing wrong with being busy as long as we’re busy with the right things. So my goal from day to day is not to figure out how I can get out of doing these things but to figure out how to develop a winning strategy to make completing them less stressful for me and those around me. Neglecting to do them is simply not an option. The people in my life depend on me. More importantly, the Lord depends on me. I’ve been given much and because of that much is required of me.

So, how can we as women manage our daily lives and responsibilities as virtuous women and avoid the dreaded cri
sis? I believe the answer is in this catchy phrase a very wise sister friend of mine shared with me–Rise and grind. This is part of her plan to stay on top of her game each day, and I think it will help us all too. Here’s what G.R.I.N.D. means to me.

  1. Get rid of excuses and just do it. Thinking of all the reasons why its hard to balance different parts of our life is a paralytic. Oftentimes thinking about all the things you need to do can lead to you doing nothing at all. Thinking about all it will take to reach your goal can lead to never reaching your goal. Instead of thinking yourself out of becoming a better person or taking care of your responsibilities, just start. Start small in bite sized pieces, but start somewhere. Consider this…starting small is better than not starting at all. If you never begin you’ll never win. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the devil paralyzing me with self defeating thoughts before I even try to begin. Let’s move beyond his plot to steal the blessings God has in store for us by simply taking action-one faith building step at a time.
  2. Refuse to be idol (aka lazy). As I said before, be busy with the right things. There’s nothing wrong with being busy. The virtuous woman was busy and part of what made her virtuous is that she knew how to handle her bus-i-ness. We cannot be lazy and do this. We who have chosen to marry have also chosen to be wives. Virtuous wives don’t sit around watching reality television, taking two hour naps, or scrolling through social media all day. (Ouch!) There is just too much to do. We have the time to do everything that needs to be done, but it’s what we do with our time that matters. We all need to get up earlier like the virtuous woman. Help, Lord! Help me and my sisters to rebuke that snooze alarm and get our hips up in the morning so we can handle our business in Jesus’ name. Amen.
  3. Increase your productivity by decreasing your work load.                           I kcleaning schedulenow what you’re thinking…I thought this
    wasn’t about eliminating responsibilities. You’re right. It’s not. What I mean here is doing a little here and a little there so that you won’t get so overwhelmed by having to do everything all at once. One thing that has helped me with housework is a daily cleaning calendar (pictured to the right). When I use it (still working on being more consistent with it) it helps tremendously. I like it because it gives me a visual plan that I can follow each day with a backup plan and rest days already built in. Super helpful, super rewarding, and super encouraging! Try it.
  4. Never ignore the Holy Spirit. He has a knack for preparing us ahead of time for the future. How do you know the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you something. It’s an unction on the inside for me, a thought to do the right, beneficial thing that I often don’t feel like doing. The flesh is never going to tell you to do the right thing, so when I’m urged in that direction I know it’s God. For instance, once I had a big ministry project coming up, and I was procrastinating in getting it done because I was waiting on someone to give me specific directions before I got started. Wrong move. The closer we got to the event the more the little details began to pile up and the more stressed I became because time had almost run out. The Holy Spirit told me days ahead what I needed to do, but I ignored it, thinking that I had everything under control. The project was still completed, but boy could the process have been much smoother and less stressful had I listened to the still small voice on the inside of me. Remember, He promotes peace in our lives, so let’s allow Him to minister that peace by doing things His way.
  5. Depend on God. The just shall live by faith is an absolute truth. Every ounce of our lives have to be done by faith. The problem that we sometimes face is thinking that we can handle everything all by ourselves, never asking for any help. We can be good at everything we have to do and be magnificent multitaskers, but because we are so confident in ourselves we end up not doing them in faith. Being in faith means that we depend on God for everything and being prayerful in the process. Here’s a quote I found on thebusymom.com. “If you’re doing His work by His power, your marriage and family will thrive. God will not guide you where you cannot stand in His strength.”

Now I know there are some super moms and wives out there who have it together, so please share your strategies with the rest of us who need to do better. I look forward to gleaning from your experiences. Any other positive comments are welcome also. 🙂