When I heard Shelby Swink’s story about being dumped by her boyfriend of three years only five days before they were scheduled to be married, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that sometimes unanswered prayers are a blessing in disguise. God has a funny way of working things out in our favor even when we can’t or refuse to see how it’s working in our favor at the time. That’s why it’s so important to seek His heart for us and not just His hand. When we spend time learning of Him, we learn His will for our lives and can begin to pray according to that will, not our own. While I’m sure there were warning signs prior to her boyfriend’s admission that he did not love her, for some reason she was unable to see them or either chose to ignore them. Nevertheless, I admire the way that Shelby was able to “embrace the journey that is [her] life and thrive on the fuels of opposition” as one of my fellow authors, Sabrina Memminger, puts it. (www.SabrinaLMemminger.com) Instead of remaining bitter about it, she has chosen to see the blessing in it. Instead of wallowing in complaints, she is thankful that her fiance told her before the wedding rather than waiting two years and two kids down the road. Now that is true. Although his timing was a bit delayed and majorly inconvenient, it was right on time. I don’t know if I would have been so quick to bounce back from the embarrassment and heartache and I definitely know I would think twice about ruining an expensive wedding gown. But hey, if she likes it I love it.
Archive for Moving Forward
The Blessing of Unanswered Prayers
Your Breakthrough, Your Business!
By now everybody has heard Marquis Jones’ story. He’s the guy who’s deliverance from homosexuality went viral recently. I have no problem with his deliverance. Actually, I’m very happy for him and I rejoice with him. However, there were many others who made a mockery of his transformation and ridiculed him for it, which is why he is now suing Twitter for allowing its users to bully him online. Now, I can’t help but to believe that all of this public humiliation could have been avoided if he had been aware of the spiritual principle shared in Romans 14:22.
“Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth” Romans 14:22 KJV.
The Good News Translation puts it this way, “Keep what you believe about this matter, then, between yourself and God. Happy are those who do not feel guilty when they do something they judge is right!”
Paul was teaching the Roman church about the importance of refraining from activities that will cause other believers to stumble in their walk with God. More specifically he was talking about eating meat versus not eating meat. Some believers thought that eating meat was a sin, and some thought that it was perfectly fine to eat. Paul taught that neither of those things mattered. What was important was that the work of God be not hindered because of a difference of opinion.
Was he wrong for believing that God had delivered him, even though others may not have? Of course not. Was it wrong for him to decree and declare the changes he wanted to see in his life as a result of his deliverance, even though others may not have understood? Absolutely not. I do think his declaration would have been better suited for the privacy of his own home, in the privacy of the pastor’s office, or at the very least stated without the amplification of the microphone because quite frankly the vast majority of onlookers were focused on his past shame (and his grammar) and not his present victory or his future success. In other words, they were focused on what he was delivered from with no regard for the fact that he was now free from it.
So what’s the lesson in all of this for you and me? Not everybody can handle your testimony. God does miraculous things for His children that should be shared, but some things are better left between you and God, at least until we are at a point of totally walking in the deliverance we’ve received. This is for our benefit because the last thing we need is for someone else who doesn’t believe to impose their non-belief on us.
I’m not judgin’. I’m just saying’.
What about you? Have you ever shared your beliefs or a resolve change something in your life with others and then been criticized for it?
Girl, Take Your Power Back!
The other morning while on car duty at work, I had a very interesting conversation with a sixth grade girl. Usually when dropped off at school this young girl would say good morning and walk right on by me with her book bag rolling behind her. But this morning was different. She decided she would stay outside with me while waiting on a particular friend of hers to arrive. This friend was a sixth grade boy who she said she likes and has liked for years. She was waiting on him so they could walk in and sit together before school began.
I was intrigued by her loyalty to this male “friend,” so I probed a little. “Does he know you like him?” I asked.
“Yeah, he knows,” she said proudly. “The whole school knows by now.”
“So how does he treat you since he knows?’ “Does he still hang out with you?”
“Oh he still talks to me, but he has a girlfriend,” she said as an after thought.
At that point I wanted to tell her, “Gal, get your behind in that building, and leave that boy alone!” but I contained myself and inquired a bit more.
“So how does it make you feel knowing that he has a girlfriend?” I asked.
“Umm, it’s okay,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “I’m just waiting for them to break up.”
With that, I realized that even from a young age many girls develop unhealthy views of relationships. Why would she think that it’s okay to throw yourself in the path of someone who doesn’t have her to think about? Can’t she see how foolish that appears? Obviously not because she waited and waited for her long-time crush to arrive.
Sadly, she is not the only one. I think we have all been there a time or two, but praise be to God I received a revelation that set me free. Ladies, calmly think about this.
Your happiness has much to do with the decisions you make regarding your relationships. Make the choice that you will not settle for less than you deserve, which is God’s best. I do not believe that God’s best involves you playing second fiddle to another woman or being in some man’s back pocket at his disposal. That’s the devil! You are worth so much more than that. If you are the virtuous woman that the Bible speaks of, then your price is far above rubies. Now what fool is going to carry around a jewel that precious along with his pocket lint? Just like his jeans, he taking you through the ringer. It may sound funny, but I’m being real.
Don’t let your desire for a man rule over you and control you. Have the desire because it’s natural, but don’t let it have you. Being in that state of mind is sin. I had to come to this realization as a single woman too. My deliverance came from the Word of God. In James 1:14-15 says “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” Now a lust is simply a desire gone haywire. So quite naturally and according to divine providence we all have the desire for loving companionship. It goes with the territory. But God never intended for the desire to turn to lust–a lust that will make you do just about anything to fulfill itself. Once that lust has taken root in us, it causes us to sin. I’m not just speaking of sexual sin, even though that definitely applies. I’m also speaking of manipulation, lies, deception, and anything else we do to get who we claim is our man. The Bible clearly defines sin as anything that is not of faith, so if you find yourself calculating the man’s every move and figuring out ways to throw yourself in his path, then you are definitely not trusting in the true and living God. You are trusting in your own selfish devices. Now you tell me, if by chance you do catch the man, how can a relationship birthed in sin live and thrive?
The great news is what the next two verses in James have to say…”Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” In other words, do not mistake God. He has the good and perfect gift that you need. He’s not like that man who can’t make up his mind about you–fickle and indecisive. He is constant, steady, and unchanging.
Take your power and your dignity back, let the Lord have His way and give Him the reigns of your heart.
I’m not judgin’. I’m just sayin’.
Let me know what your thoughts are on this subject.
