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Working on “Us”

bookI’m about to share a very intimate moment that my husband and I had recently (with his permission of course). We started doing a book study on marriage together a few weeks ago to help reconnect us after having a new baby in the house. You parents know how a marriage can experience strain with the introduction of a child. The child gets most of the attention and well, spouses get very little from each other unless it is directly relating to the child. So we decided we needed to work on “us” again.

While studying one particular chapter on irreconcilable differences, I was reminded of how good a man my husband is and more importantly how godly he is. I admitted to him that at times in the past I have felt like he has put me on the back burner for other things like work and church. Of all the things I could complain about, there I was giving the man a hard time about two very important aspects of our lives. As I said it, I could hear how petty I sounded complaining about how he rushes out the door on his way to work (he has more than enough time to get there), which means that we don’t have time for the lingering goodbyes I’d prefer; and how adamant he is to get to church on time every Sunday that he doesn’t seem to mind if I miss breakfast in the process or leaving me behind to drive myself. Those things actually annoyed me until he shared some profound wisdom that made me feel extra foolish and extra proud to be his wife all at once.

“Being at church on time is important to me because I know that I need God’s help to take care of my family,” he said. “That’s where our blessings come from.”

It was simply put, but spoke volumes about his faith and the depths of his heart for me. His motivation is to be a provider for us, and he’s doing it by faith. As I’ve mentioned in Wait on God, I currently make more money than my husband does, but he is still a provider nonetheless. First and foremost, he is providing the spiritual covering that we need. As far as money goes, He knows that a job is just a resource, but God is THE source. He knows that the favor of God is worth more than any amount of money on a paycheck. He knows that he is accountable to God for the well-being of our family. He is standing on the promise that if we obey and serve Him we shall spend our days in prosperity and our years in pleasures, (Job 36:11) and that as the head of our family it starts with him. That also explained to me why he’s so determined to get to work early each day. He wants to insure that he honors God even on his job for the benefit of our family. And isn’t that what we want–a man who loves God more than he loves us, so that he can in fact love us the way the Father intends for us as wives to experience love according to Ephesians 5:25?

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

So married ladies (especially those of us who are heavily involved in ministry), take it from me. Before you give your husband a hard time about his spiritual and natural convictions that you don’t understand, consider how those things communicate his commitment to and his sacrifice for you and your family. You just might be like me and fall in love all over again.

I’d like to hear from you. How have you and your spouse stayed emotionally connected after having children? Please share!

Pushing Past Pessimism

imageA few weeks ago I facilitated my first Wait on God workshop at a church in Garner, North Carolina, and it was awesome! God showed up in our midst and blessed the people. He did exceeding abundantly above all that I thought and even asked for, and I felt confident in my future as a speaker. But the night before was a different story.

I was up until 3 am after a three-hour drive. There was no rest before getting on the road either. I worked all day, then went home to finish packing, and then I had a church service to attend. Needless to say, I was tired.com. Knowing that I still had some finishing touches to do for my presentation added some stress on top of my sleepiness. Self doubt and discouragement began to set in. You should just stick to writing books and leave the workshops alone, was the thought that shot across my mind at that moment considering all the preparation involved in presenting workshops. I followed it up. I was too tired to fight back. Yeah this is just way too much! I thought. I would be too tired to function let alone teach a workshop. I envied my husband who was sleeping soundly next to me as I plucked away at the keyboard, eyes stinging from the lack of sleep. I counted the amount of hours I’d be able to get if I laid down right then. A whopping 3 hours. I decided to take advantage of those few hours and finish gathering my thoughts after my nap.

I woke up feeling physically drained and still a little hesitant about how the workshop would flow. Again, this was my first time doing one and the fear of the unknown was very real. I couldn’t back out now. There was a group of about 20-25 ladies awaiting my arrival. I began to pray in the Holy Ghost as I got dressed, during the ride to the church, and during set up. Lord knows I needed to get out of my head (rational thinking), and I needed His direction and anointing to flow.

And flow it did. It felt to me as if I had been doing this for years. It felt like I knew these women all along. I was so comfortable and in my element. And they received. Now, I could credit ten years of teaching and every other life experience of talking to others that I’ve had for this sense of ease, but I don’t. Rather, I thank Christ Jesus my Lord, who has enabled me and counted me faithful to do this service in His name. I’m also thankful to God that I pushed past the pessimistic mindset that the enemy wanted me to adopt. If I had let the doubt paralyze me I would not have realized the potential that God put in me nor would the ladies have benefited from His gifting in me. And I encourage you to push beyond negativity so that you can experience the good success that God intends for you to experience and you can bless those whom God has put in your path to bless.

So what is the lesson in this? I learned two things from that experience that I will use going forward to prevent the spirit of pessimism from falling on me.

  1. Adopt a positive mantra (confession) for success. I am a firm believer that confession brings possession and that words have power. If success is what I desire, and the Word indicates that I can have success (Joshua 1:8) then I must believe that I do have success. But I can’t say it only once and expect results. That makes it only a statement. What makes it a confession is the ongoing nature of it. Repeating it over and over until it becomes a part of me. This process is transformative because it transforms the mind to think this way and ultimately become this way. If my mind is already programmed for success, there’s no way that it can be tricked into thinking otherwise.
  2. Trust God for success. Once you’ve done all the preparing you can possibly do, all that’s left to do is trust God to bless the works of your hands and give the increase. The sign of success for me at the end of this workshop was for my audience to receive something that would impact their lives. That I cannot do on my own and to think that I can is putting undo pressure on myself and displacing my trust. I need God to breathe life into my words so that they penetrate the hearts and bring about the necessary change.

So, what is it that you’ve been putting off doing as a result of listening to the wrong voice? And what steps can you take to push forward and into the destiny that God has predestined for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to comment below. 🙂

 

“Wait on God” Wins Award

Januar12523164_997069327035243_4258303512548807119_ny 16th is a day that I will always remember. It’s the day that I launched my first book Wait on God in 2015 and the day one year later that my book had been recognized as one of “the best Christian-themed books published during the past year” in the third annual Illumination Book Awards contest, receiving a bronze medal in the Christian Living category.

Here’s what Jim Barnes, editor and Illumination Book Awards director, said
about Wait on God.

Our judges loved this book, for its inspiring blend of practical advice and Biblical lessons. Ms. Whitaker has created a hugely valuable tool that will help young women thrive in a complicated world.

I want to give a huge thanks to my Ministry Gift, Pastor Stanley E. Hayes, Sr. and Elect Lady Julie A. Hayes, for all of their wisdom and the spirit of excellence they have instilled in me. I also want to thank the most awesome publisher, Hanne Moon of Heritage Press Publications, for making it easy for me to fulfill my desire to publish. I thank Lisa Thomson for her award worthy cover and interior design. Finally, I thank my husband, Russell, for inspiring the love story that began Wait on God.

I am absolutely thrilled by this news and thoroughly convinced that I did the right thing in stepping out on faith to publish this book despite the challenges I faced in the process. It feels good to have my work validated by the professional publishing community. This honor along with the favorable testimonies of people who have read the book lets me know that God is pleased and that He will continue to use this work to build His Kingdom here on earth. To God be the glory! Now on to book #2 and a gold medal come January 16th, 2017. 🙂