The other morning while on car duty at work, I had a very interesting conversation with a sixth grade girl.  Usually when dropped off at school this young girl would say good morning and walk right on by me with her book bag rolling behind her.  But this morning was different.  She decided she would stay outside with me while waiting on a particular friend of hers to arrive.  This friend was a sixth grade boy who she said she likes and has liked for years.  She was waiting on him so they could walk in and sit together before school began. 

     I was intrigued by her loyalty to this male “friend,” so I probed a little.  “Does he know you like him?” I asked.

     “Yeah, he knows,” she said proudly.  “The whole school knows by now.”

     “So how does he treat you since he knows?’  “Does he still hang out with you?”

     “Oh he still talks to me, but he has a girlfriend,” she said as an after thought.

     At that point I wanted to tell her, “Gal, get your behind in that building, and leave that boy alone!” but I contained myself and inquired a bit more.

     “So how does it make you feel knowing that he has a girlfriend?” I asked.

     “Umm, it’s okay,” she said shrugging her shoulders.  “I’m just waiting for them to break up.”

     With that, I realized that even from a young age many girls develop unhealthy views of relationships.  Why would she think that it’s okay to throw yourself in the path of someone who doesn’t have her to think about?  Can’t she see how foolish that appears?  Obviously not because she waited and waited for her long-time crush to arrive.

Sadly, she is not the only one.  I think we have all been there a time or two, but praise be to God I received a revelation that set me free.  Ladies, calmly think about this.

     Your happiness has much to do with the decisions you make regarding your relationships.  Make the choice that you will not settle for less than you deserve, which is God’s best.  I do not believe that God’s best involves you playing second fiddle to another woman or being in some man’s back pocket at his disposal.  That’s the devil!  You are worth so much more than that.  If you are the virtuous woman that the Bible speaks of, then your price is far above rubies.  Now what fool is going to carry around a jewel that precious along with his pocket lint?  Just like his jeans, he taking you through the ringer.  It may sound funny, but I’m being real.  

     Don’t let your desire for a man rule over you and control you.  Have the desire because it’s natural, but don’t let it have  you.  Being in that state of mind is sin.  I had to come to this realization as a single woman too.  My deliverance came from the Word of God.  In James 1:14-15 says “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”  Now a lust is simply a desire gone haywire.  So quite naturally and according to divine providence we all have the desire for loving companionship.  It goes with the territory.  But God never intended for the desire to turn to lust–a lust that will make you do just about anything to fulfill itself.  Once that lust has taken root in us, it causes us to sin.  I’m not just speaking of sexual sin, even though that definitely applies.  I’m also speaking of manipulation, lies, deception, and anything else we do to get who we claim is our man.  The Bible clearly defines sin as anything that is not of faith, so if you find yourself calculating the man’s every move and figuring out ways to throw yourself in his path, then you are definitely not trusting in the true and living God.  You are trusting in your own selfish devices.  Now you tell me, if by chance you do catch the man, how can a relationship birthed in sin live and thrive? 

     The great news is what the next two verses in James have to say…”Do not err, my beloved brethren.  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”  In other words, do not mistake God.  He has the good and perfect gift that you need.  He’s not like that man who can’t make up his mind about you–fickle and indecisive.  He is constant, steady, and unchanging. 

Take your power and your dignity back, let the Lord have His way and give Him the reigns of your heart. 

I’m not judgin’.  I’m just sayin’.

Let me know what your thoughts are on this subject.