If someone you cared about told you that they loved you just the way you are-the good, the bad, and the ugly, your ups, downs and all arounds–EVERYTHING hands down, they’d probably be lying. No really, unconditional love is a supernatural trait that many people, Christians included, fall short of developing in some cases. Moreover, would you try to change anything or improve if they did tell you that? Probably not. Why fix what isn’t broken, right? Well, the match that sparked this flame of thought was Kierra Sheard’s new song Flaws.

I have mixed feelings about it. The lyrics suggest that God loves our imperfections and that the things we consider flaws are not flaws at all in God’s eyes. To Him, they make us beautiful. Now before you quit reading this and think that I’m missing the point, keep reading. I do agree that God made no mistakes when He made us because we’re made in His image, and I get that God has given us the gift of grace, which is unmerited favor that we did not and could not ever earn no matter how hard we tried. Period. His love for us is condition free and forever sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ. I would argue though that it’s not our flaws that He loves but it’s us that He loves in spite of our flaws.

Let’s apply this to natural relationships. I love my husband, Lord knows I do, but I do not love all of his ways, his habits, or the way he chooses to do some things. In the same token he doesn’t love all of mine either. But because neither one of us is our own anymore (we belong to each other through the covenant of marriage) we owe it to each other to work on the things that can possibly hinder our relationship. I’m not talking about the little things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things like forgetting to take the trash out on trash day, but those “big dogs” that can really tear up your marriage if not nipped in the bud (ie. bad spending habits, poor housekeeping skills, unfaithfulness-physically and/or emotionally, etc.) It is selfish to think that our spouses should accept us just as we are, flaws and all, and to make no effort to become a better, not flawless spouse.

Flaws come in two forms in my opinion: the ones that deal with our physical state and those that deal with the state of our character. When it comes to the darkened acne marks polka dotting my cheeks or my tendency to consume more chocolaty treats than fruits and veggies, God is good with that. BUT when it comes to what goes on inwardly at times, the things that no one but Him can see or the secret sins that are done when no one is looking, but creep out in the things we say and do, it’s not all good with Him. Those things affect more than just us. They affect those around us who look to our example. Walking around with a chip on my shoulder and offending everybody I meet, then passing it off as “just my personality” is not okay with Him nor is any sin in which we engage. As loving as God is, He is not okay with sin. It’s the spirit of the world that has perpetuated the idea that anything goes. But quite frankly, it does not. Thinking that it does can lead to a failure to see that anything is wrong and that change is necessary. Am I suggesting that change is something done independent of our loving Heavenly Father. Absolutely not. He (His Word) is our change agent. Without it, change would be impossible for the believer. I believe He has given us the grace to change–to grow more into the image of Him, not the grace to remain in the same sinful state that He delivered us from simply because by matter of free will and His unconditional love for us we can.

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” Romans 6:1

It is foolish to use grace as an opportunity to sin. It is an abuse of the free gift. “Taking advantage” of His grace is a far cry from taking advantage of His grace. Let me explain. Taking advantage of His grace is like misusing a privilege. It’s the employee who leaves work early because they know the boss is not there. It’s the man who makes an unwanted sexual advance on a woman because she flirts with him and gives him the time of day. It’s the woman who shops incessantly because she has possession of the family credit card and all the balance statements too. On the other hand, “taking advantage” of His grace is accepting the free gift for its true purpose as God intended. It’s realizing you’re unrighteous and receiving the righteousness that Christ’s sacrifice provides. It’s realizing you’re unworthy and undeserving but receiving without apology the blessings that God’s goodness makes available. It’s realizing your imperfections yet allowing the transformative power of God to have its way in your life. Yes, we are flawed human beings and God loves us, but don’t allow flaws to be an excuse for mediocrity. Rather, let it be motivation for us to seek change and spiritual growth to ultimately glorify our Heavenly Father.

I’m not judgin’. I’m just sayin’.