I am pleased to announce
that I will make my television debut on the Right Decisions with Tammy Moye Johnson Talk Show on Sunday, November 1st at 7:30 am EST. The show segment entitled “Single Ladies” will air on Wach Fox. On the show, Ms. Tammy and I talk candidly about the challenges and advantages of living single as a Christian in today’s society. Satan fought really hard against this particular taping, so I truly believe that it will be a blessing to the Body of Christ. Don’t miss it! And while you’re at it, like her Right Decisions with Tammy Moye Johnson Facebook page. She’s an awesome woman of God!
Tag Archive for Christianity
The “Wait on God” Television Debut
Do Tell–A Guide to Determine When It’s Ok to Spill the Beans About Your Sexual Status
Have you ever told a guy
that you were dating that you were either committed to a life of celibacy or plan to remain a virgin until marriage and the relationship took a turn for the worst? I was recently asked how I handled sharing my virgin status as a single woman with the men I dated. I thought it was a good question to explore and that some others may benefit from this discussion.
First of all, your decision to practice celibacy or to remain a virgin until marriage is a very honorable one and one of which to be proud. But let’s face it…not everyone you meet (men in particular) can handle knowing that intimate piece of information about you. Some men, as was the case for the young lady who posed the question, will think that you are issuing them a challenge and may try to see just how long you will hold fast to your convictions. Then once you give in, they’re out or once you prove that you are serious about your commitment and deny them the pleasure of enjoying your garden will be out. So how do you decide with whom to share it and when it is the right time? Here’s what I think.
You should only spill the beans on your sexual status when you’re at a point with the guy you’re dating that things are becoming more serious. If you only went out with him a few times and you are honestly not that into him, there’s no need to even delve into this conversation. I think it is important to wait until you can actually see a future with him. Everyone’s timetable is different on this. It may take a few days, weeks, or months to get to this place depending on the couple. So wait to see if you can sense if this guy is a keeper or not. Now, here’s where a deviation from this plan may occur. If the guy starts making sexual advances towards you, probably because he does not hold your same convictions, you may need to tell him sooner so that he won’t expect to go any further. If he bails on you or stops calling because of this then hold up two fingers and repeat after me, “Deuces!”. You don’t need him anyway.
Now I also think that the atmosphere in which you reveal your status is important. Waiting until after a late-night, romantic date when the slightest touch from your sweetie pie sends goosebumps up and down your spine, may not be the best time to tell him. You are both feeling less guarded in the “heat” of the moment; thus less prone to make rational, God-honoring decisions. A daytime stroll in the park or lunch date might make a safer atmosphere because hormones aren’t typically raging in a more neutral environment, and your date may receive this revelation a little better. Regardless to how he receives it though, it is worth discussing.
To sum this all up, it is a good idea to let the significant man in your life know where you stand. Of course you run the risk of him either valuing or not valuing your decision. So what if this news causes the relationship to take a turn for the worst? I would argue that it is actually a turn for the best because you now see the man’s character, and at the end of the day the person you really want to be pleased with your decisions is God. His opinion is the only one that matters, and in God’s eyes holiness is still right for all of His children–in a relationship or not.
These are just my thoughts. What do you think?
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KISSING–A Crucial Component of Christian Publishing
Before your mind travels to the gutter, let me tell you that this post is not about kissing in the traditional sense. It’s about publishing and what to do after your book has emerged from the printing press–when the hard work of writing it has ended and the even harder work of promoting it has begun. What? Did you think you could sit back, relax, and watch your book sales rise without work? Sorry to burst your bubble, my friend, but that ain’t happenin’–not in the indie publishing world anyway. So the tip I will share with you today is essential, especially for the Christian writer. It is summed up in this acronym… KISS–Keep It Spiritual Sweetie!
Now, what do I mean by keeping it spiritual? If you are a Christian writer, your content will already be based on spiritual principles (let’s hope so anyway). But I’m talking about ways in which your content will reach the masses. So beyond the book’s spiritual content there are spiritual things you can do to spread the Good News of Christ and at the same time experience publishing success. Here’s what I did and am doing to “keep it spiritual” in my publishing journey.
1. Dedicate the book back to God. My launch party and book signing wasn’t an ordinary book launch and signing. It was a ceremony, so to speak. I had the food, the music, and the books, but I also had prayer, a theme scripture, and an occasion read because I wanted everyone in attendance to know that this was both a celebration for what God had done in my life and an official send off of my book baby into the world to be used by God to bless lives. Most importantly, I used this moment to have my book baby dedicated back unto the Lord, much like new parents do with their children. The Biblical figure, Hannah, also did this when she bore Samuel.
They first butchered the bull, then brought the child to Eli. Hannah said, “Excuse me, sir. Would you believe that I’m the very woman who was standing before you at this very spot, praying to God? I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I have dedicated him to God. He’s dedicated to God for life. Then and there, they worshiped God. (1 Samuel 1:25-26 Message)
Like Hannah, I prayed that God would help me write this book, and He gave me what I asked for. Dedicating it back to Him was just the right and spiritual thing to do. I did this by asking my Pastor and Elect Lady (Pastor’s wife) to say a special prayer over the book for its success at the launch party. As he prayed he held it in His hands. I believe that the prayers and the anointed touch of the man and woman of God have hugely impacted the success of my book. Instead of it being just another interesting read, it is actually changing mindsets and thus changing lives. That’s not because of me. It’s because of the anointing, and I don’t want anything I do to be void of God’s anointing. It makes all the difference in Heaven and on Earth.
2. Pray that God would touch the hearts of potential buyers. I’m not the best salesman there is. Sometimes it’s challenging to talk to people about a product in a way that will convince them to buy it. Add to the equation that it is your own product, and you’ve got an even bigger challenge because it’s almost like selling yourself. I admit that the ability to sell yourself is a good quality to have, but what has compensated for my lack of skills in that area is prayer. My prayer is that God would draw the buyers and supporters in and that the book would sell itself without any gimmicks or resorting to begging. Although I have tried to use free giveaways to appeal to my audience, I’ve learned that if someone is going to invest in a meaningful product they will do it despite any additional add-ons because it’s in their heart to do so. How do I know that the Lord has the ability to influence the heart’s of men and women? Because He said so in His Word.
The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. (Proverbs 21:1 KJV)
After all, it’s not about me as the messenger, it’s about the message, so whomever needs to hear it will hear it in God’s time and in His way.
3. Trust Him to provide opportunities.
For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God nis the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. (Psalms 75:6 KJV)
Remembering that promotion comes from above has helped me to put my promotion efforts in the proper perspective. Before I published “Wait on God” I never had any plans beyond that. I didn’t see myself speaking or doing book talks. My goal was to simply get it done. Now that it’s done, my view has been altered. I desire to get the message out to as many people as possible, but I don’t want to become consumed by that desire. It can easily happen. The drive for success and progress can cause us to focus on what we can do ourselves to open doors and forget that it’s much better and classier to allow God to be the gentleman He is and open doors for us. Case in point, I’ve had speaking engagements and vendor opportunities to come my way without me inviting them. It seems like the opportunities I sought didn’t work out anyway. Besides, my small doors are no comparison to the God-sized doors that my Heavenly Father can take off the hinges for me.
I’ve also learned that being in business for yourself requires a lot of commitment and time. Time that in some cases I do not have with all of the other responsibilities on my plate like my job, ministry work, and my family. To keep from neglecting those responsibilities, I have to trust God to provide opportunities for me to promote my book. I could pursue each and every opportunity that I can find, but it would be at the cost of something else really important in many instances. If God is responsible for your promotion, then you don’t have to worry. He will NOT disappoint or fall short on His job. He will make every opportunity that you do take advantage of benefit you far more than the ones you pursue on your own while neglecting your other obligations in the process. Yeah, that means you may have to turn some events down when there’s a scheduling conflict in favor of things that are higher in priority, but this is a sign of your trust in God’s ability to put you in the right path, at the right time, with the right people. God’s opportunities are always golden opportunities, and whatever you do with and for Christ will last!
