Tag Archive for Christianity

Choosing Treasure Over Trifles

Posted on February 26, 2015 by

trifles and treasuresIt breaks my heart when I see women settling for men who aren’t man enough to marry them. Many of these women are raising their children and putting up with nonsense on top of that. I guess it’s a burden that God put in my heart for the spiritual success of young women. Now, it is easy to sit here and point the finger at the men, blaming them for every child born out of wedlock and raised by a single mother, but the fact of the matter is they did not make those babies alone. A very consenting woman was involved in the process as well. Before you think that I am being judgmental, let me share with you that I am a product of that type of situation. I was raised by a single mother and as I understand it, she too put up with her share of foolishness from my father before I was born. Everyone makes mistakes, right? True. Which is why Jesus Christ, the Righteous, died for us.

I met a woman recently who when hearing about the subject of my book “Wait on God” asked me, “Why aren’t I married?” Now this particular young lady already has children with the man in her life and it would seem as if they have a happy family. Yet, she wonders why she’s not married. Of course, I cannot answer that question for her, but I can speculate that one reason is because she has not required that level of commitment in her relationship. Perhaps she has asked him about it or hinted at the subject a time or two, but she has not truly required that level of commitment to the point of putting her foot down, issuing an ultimatum, and sticking to it. Bottom line is…If you want better you have to do better. And doing better means NO MORE SETTLING!

NO MORE SETTLING for men with no character–to put it plainly, dishonest, untrustworthy, unreliable, irresponsible, and self-serving men. NO MORE SETTLING for not exercising godly character in your own life. NO MORE SETTLING for ungodly and spiritually unsatisfying relationships that focus only on the physical. NO MORE SETTLING for someone who puts you in compromising situations to accommodate his own selfish desires. My dear sister, the only things that need settling once and for all are your belief in God’s ability to bless you with the love you need and your belief that you are worth more than you’ve been allowing from the men in your life. Once you are convinced of your worth, it won’t be as difficult to resist mistreatment from anybody. God is not going to give you to someone who cannot see your worth and treat you accordingly.

To settle for less than God’s best for you is to agree with the enemy that you’re not worth the effort and that the sacrifice that Christ made for you was worthless. My God! That couldn’t be farther from the truth! To Christ, YOU ARE WORTH every nail that pierced his flesh, YOU ARE WORTH every thorn that pressed into his brow, YOU ARE WORTH every drop of blood that flowed from His veins, YOU were WORTH DYING FOR! Your abundant life of peace, blessing, and wholeness was worth every bit of His sacrifice as well. So why settle for a life of emotional lack in your romantic relationships when your life of abundance has already been purchased by the blood of Jesus Christ? Woman of God, I encourage you to begin if you haven’t or continue if you have already begun, to trust God for all of the good things He’s made available to you in His Word; for He is faithful that promised! Don’t settle for trifles when you are entitled to treasure!

No comments Posted in Dating, Relationship with Others

See Flaws as Opportunities Not Cop Outs

Posted on February 4, 2015 by

quoteIf someone you cared about told you that they loved you just the way you are-the good, the bad, and the ugly, your ups, downs and all arounds–EVERYTHING hands down, they’d probably be lying. No really, unconditional love is a supernatural trait that many people, Christians included, fall short of developing in some cases. Moreover, would you try to change anything or improve if they did tell you that? Probably not. Why fix what isn’t broken, right? Well, the match that sparked this flame of thought was Kierra Sheard’s new song Flaws.

I have mixed feelings about it. The lyrics suggest that God loves our imperfections and that the things we consider flaws are not flaws at all in God’s eyes. To Him, they make us beautiful. Now before you quit reading this and think that I’m missing the point, keep reading. I do agree that God made no mistakes when He made us because we’re made in His image, and I get that God has given us the gift of grace, which is unmerited favor that we did not and could not ever earn no matter how hard we tried. Period. His love for us is condition free and forever sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ. I would argue though that it’s not our flaws that He loves but it’s us that He loves in spite of our flaws.

Let’s apply this to natural relationships. I love my husband, Lord knows I do, but I do not love all of his ways, his habits, or the way he chooses to do some things. In the same token he doesn’t love all of mine either. But because neither one of us is our own anymore (we belong to each other through the covenant of marriage) we owe it to each other to work on the things that can possibly hinder our relationship. I’m not talking about the little things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things like forgetting to take the trash out on trash day, but those “big dogs” that can really tear up your marriage if not nipped in the bud (ie. bad spending habits, poor housekeeping skills, unfaithfulness-physically and/or emotionally, etc.) It is selfish to think that our spouses should accept us just as we are, flaws and all, and to make no effort to become a better, not flawless spouse.

Flaws come in two forms in my opinion: the ones that deal with our physical state and those that deal with the state of our character. When it comes to the darkened acne marks polka dotting my cheeks or my tendency to consume more chocolaty treats than fruits and veggies, God is good with that. BUT when it comes to what goes on inwardly at times, the things that no one but Him can see or the secret sins that are done when no one is looking, but creep out in the things we say and do, it’s not all good with Him. Those things affect more than just us. They affect those around us who look to our example. Walking around with a chip on my shoulder and offending everybody I meet, then passing it off as “just my personality” is not okay with Him nor is any sin in which we engage. As loving as God is, He is not okay with sin. It’s the spirit of the world that has perpetuated the idea that anything goes. But quite frankly, it does not. Thinking that it does can lead to a failure to see that anything is wrong and that change is necessary. Am I suggesting that change is something done independent of our loving Heavenly Father. Absolutely not. He (His Word) is our change agent. Without it, change would be impossible for the believer. I believe He has given us the grace to change–to grow more into the image of Him, not the grace to remain in the same sinful state that He delivered us from simply because by matter of free will and His unconditional love for us we can.

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” Romans 6:1

What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Romans 6:15

It is foolish to use grace as an opportunity to sin. It is an abuse of the free gift. “Taking advantage” of His grace is a far cry from taking advantage of His grace. Let me explain. Taking advantage of His grace is like misusing a privilege. It’s the employee who leaves work early because they know the boss is not there. It’s the man who makes an unwanted sexual advance on a woman because she flirts with him and gives him the time of day. It’s the woman who shops incessantly because she has possession of the family credit card and all the balance statements too. On the other hand, “taking advantage” of His grace is accepting the free gift for its true purpose as God intended. It’s realizing you’re unrighteous and receiving the righteousness that Christ’s sacrifice provides. It’s realizing you’re unworthy and undeserving but receiving without apology the blessings that God’s goodness makes available. It’s realizing your imperfections yet allowing the transformative power of God to have its way in your life. Yes, we are flawed human beings and God loves us, but don’t allow flaws to be an excuse for mediocrity. Rather, let it be motivation for us to seek change and spiritual growth to ultimately glorify our Heavenly Father.

I’m not judgin’. I’m just sayin’.

No comments Posted in Relationship with God, Relationship with Others

The Similarities of Sisters and Swine

Posted on January 25, 2015 by

pig_ringWhat does a nose ring-clad pig and a woman who uses poor judgment have in common? Well, let’s first explore the ridiculousness of swagged-out swine. No really. It’s ridiculous. And so is thinking that good looks and thickness in the hips and lips is what gives you value as a woman. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are (although being up in age and having this mindset does up the level of ridiculosity), you are not and should never be defined by your exterior, or your posterior for that matter. Use of discretion (making sound, godly decisions) coupled with beauty (inner is more important than outer) is what we should strive to develop and walk in as women of God.

King Solomon realized the value of discretion in a woman in Proverbs 11:22.

“Beauty in a woman without good judgment is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” (GNT)

Besides being ridiculous, a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a major devaluing of what is made to have great value. The ring ends up wallowing in the same mud and slop as the pig it’s attached to, and in that state it isn’t fit to adorn anybody’s hand as it should. It would have to be removed from its previous environment, washed thoroughly clean, and placed in the possession of someone who would properly care for it before being able to shine and add that expected bling factor.

Well, my sister this describes the sanctification process for believers as well. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from unrighteousness, delivers us from the hands of satan and places us into the hands of our Heavenly Father, and we must remove ourselves from our former environment and ungodly influences in order to reflect God’s glory in the earth.

It is our job to allow a continual cleansing to occur in our lives by the Word of God. Returning to or staying in the same old environment with the same old friends, hanging out in the same old places, and doing the same old things is what keeps us in the same old defeated, misused, and abused state. It’s time for a real, lasting change, and that starts with a decision from you.

When I was about 18 years old I had a life changing come-to-Jesus moment. I had just graduated from high school and was a few weeks away from going off to basic training in the Army Reserves. Now having access to the local Army base, I decided to attend a concert with a friend of mine to hear one of my favorite male singing groups perform.

I wanted to look my best and a little sexy too, so I wore a slinky, form fitting dress with no support for the my girls (If you know what I mean). I was so sexy (and I guess groupy looking) that one of the members of the group invited me to his hotel room. In retrospect I realize that was a trap set by satan to get me in a compromising position literally, but in my eighteen year-old head I thought this was an awesome opportunity to hang out with a celebrity. How cool? Not cool at all because what I thought was an innocent and fun after party turned into  a proposition for sex. Thankfully, I declined the offer. Thankfully I made it out of there without something terrible happening to me. Nevertheless I was still devastated. I felt foolish because I misinterpreted his intentions. What about me said “I’m easy” to him? I wondered. I’m sure my outfit and the fact that I ended up following their limousine to the gas station had something to do with it. At that moment I decided that I didn’t ever want anybody ever again to draw that conclusion about me. When I got home I cleaned my closet of all suggestive clothing (including the dress I had on) and asked the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and a conviction about my appearance to avoid sending the wrong messages to men.

Just in case you think you’re off the hook because you are already modest in your dress, good judgment also applies to non-clothing related things as well. It applies to any decision you make that either brings shame or glory to the God you serve. It applies to the things you say, the things you post, how you treat people, what you do when no one is looking, and how you respond in tough situations. Do your current actions honor God or do they offend Him? Do they make you a beacon of light or a promoter of darkness? Think about that the next time you pose for a picture or share intimate details of your life with others that really are none of their business anyway. Think about that when things or people make you angry or an opportunity to do something dishonest presents itself.

I want to strongly encourage you make a decision today to be the woman God has called to be and shun the woman the world is saying you should be. You are a precious jewel in the sight of your Father and have been snatched out of the pig’s snout (aka.the world) for His holy purposes. Think it, live it, and be proud of it!

2 comments Posted in Relationship with Self, Uncategorized
« Older Entries   Recent Entries »