Tag Archive for dating

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style-Part 2

Posted on February 11, 2015 by

High I

In recognition of Valentine’s Day and the month-long celebration of love, I am sharing my take on the four personality styles in the DISC profile to help those of us in relationships better understand our significant others. The more you know about a person, the more you grow in your love. So, let the knowing and growing continue.

Yesterday I wrote about the High D or dominant personality. Today I will explore the High I personality style. High I’s are inspiring, influencing, impressionable, interactive, and involved. These people tend to be fun loving and spontaneous, outgoing and charming. It goes without saying that these people are the life of the party and love being the center of attention. High I’s also like physical activity and excitement. As you are reading this, someone you know has probably popped into your head. We all know someone like this. They’re “people” people. They seem to know everybody and can work a crowd beautifully. This is sooo my BFF. She loves being around people and will get involved in any good cause she can find because she loves to help others. I don’t mind helping people, but she and other High I people take it to a whole other level. It is also interesting to note that High I’s tend to start well, but have difficulty finishing, are noisy, and always on the go. And if they don’t get what they want, they QUIT. Yep, once they’re done, they’re done. My BFF once again. (Sorry BFF if you’re reading this).

Now every personality style has its flaw, so let’s go there, why don’t we? The High I’s blind spot is that they can be impulsive and illogical. Ding, ding, ding! That explains the difficulty finishing, the challenge with volume control, and the constant moving and shaking. Much of these things is done without much thought or reasoning through, which is why I have such a hard time relating. I am the total opposite, as I think EVERYTHING through several times. As for being illogical, the High I can jump to conclusions a bit and throw a fit in the heat of an argument, but if you already know that going in you can anticipate it and hopefully soften the blow. Thank goodness for strategies. Learning the following strategies for the High I has helped me understand my bestie a little better, and it can help you too if you have a High I in your life.

1. Create an environment of fun and excitement. High I’s thrive on fun like a kid thrives on candy. It’s their secret fuel, and they just have to have it. If there is no fun involved, trust me, they are going to make it fun for themselves and they will take others along for the ride. The more people involved the better. Let’s apply this. If you are dating or are married to a High I you may want to keep this in mind when planning dates together. They aren’t going to go for quiet, relaxing evenings at home every weekend. You’ve got to spice it up and go heavy on the fun every once and a while. I know that involves planning and creativity on your part, but seeing your sweetie smile is worth it, right?

2. Help them develop planning and goal setting skills. It is challenging for those with impulsive tendencies to actually get beyond the here and now and plan for the distant future, but they need the reality check too. Let’s be real, fun can only last but so long. The tasks they find boring or pointless are what they have trouble finishing, but those are the things that are necessary. How can you apply this? If your High I has a great idea for a new business opportunity (they probably have a few of these), encourage him or her to sit down and make a plan for success. Help them think through the details and give them an extra push to keep going when the excitement of it all begins to wane.

3. Provide social involvement as incentives. One way to help encourage your High I to finish what they start is to offer incentives in the form of social interaction. Remember they love people, and they love you. Spending quality time together is a plus. This time should include real involvement, not just the two of you being in the same house at the same time. That does not count as social involvement. Go shopping together, cook together, take a walk, or go away for a romantic weekend (I’m talking exclusively to the married folk here)–just make sure to be there for them and be fully present while you’re at it.

4. Recognize their efforts and talents. High I’s love a pat on the back when they’ve worked hard on something. Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants to be recognized for their efforts, but High I’s are on another level with this too. So do praise and do it big for these social butterflies. But don’t worry. If you do forget to recognize them they will let you know it. I’m speaking from experience here. And this is probably a good time right here on the world wide web to go ahead and drop my best friend, Melissa Watson’s name to recognize her for being such a great friend. Thank you, Missy! I love you! You’re the best! See, I practice what I preach. 🙂

If you’re a High I, feel free to let me know if I nailed it or NOT. I welcome comments. In the next post I will discuss the High S personality, so stay tuned.

2 comments Posted in Dating, Marriage, Relationship with Others

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style

Posted on February 9, 2015 by

high d
My husband and I get along great. We rarely argue and we laugh a lot together, but there are times when I just don’t get him. Truth be told, there are times when he does things that drive me absolutely nuts, and I oftentimes return the favor. For example, I don’t get why he jokes around so much when I’m being serious, and he doesn’t get why I ask him the same questions over and over again until I get a satisfactory answer. Talk about things that make you go hmmm… Well now I have an idea why, and it involves our differing personalities.

Recently I had a very eye opening experience at a professional conference that gave me a better understanding on not only my husband, but also on some other very important people in my life (ie. mother and best friend.) I learned what makes them tick. You might be saying that this is something I should already know, having been around them for years, but sometimes the tendencies of others near and dear to us have a way of remaining a mystery after years of time spent together and eluding even the most perceptive of people. The light bulb clicked on for me when I learned the four personality styles according to the DISC profile–a personal assessment tool used to improve work productivity, teamwork, and communication. And since February is the time set aside to celebrate love and relationships, I thought I’d share them in these next series of posts to help you better relate with your mate or anybody else with whom you just can’t seem to communicate.

The first personality style is the High D personality, which I will refer to as simply the High D. This person is dominant, direct, demanding, decisive, determined, and a doer. The High D tends to be high in energy, busy and productive, strong-willed and persistent. Basically, these people take charge, and if they don’t get what they want they get mad. Their blind spot, or personality flaw is that they can be quite bossy (as if you couldn’t tell). Know anybody like this? I sure do, and since I am the total opposite of this, I found myself wondering why the High D in my life was this way. You may be wondering this also, but here are a few strategies to help you deal with the High D in your life.

1. Remain cool and calm and avoid power struggles. This may be difficult to do (especially if you’re a High D yourself), but trust me, going at it tit for tat will not work out in your favor with this one. It would be to your advantage to try an alternate route to get your point across like agreeing to disagree or restating your point to sound less confrontational.

2. Be consistent and fair. The key word is consistency. If you’re not consistent with them or fail to keep your word, prepare to be dismissed. Now that I think about it, I’ve heard my High D person complain about the inconsistent folk in her life on several occasions. I guess because they’re so consistent themselves, it’s kind of difficult to deal with those who aren’t.

3. Be direct and to the point. Don’t go beating around the bush with them. They won’t waste time beating around the bush with you. If you have something to say, say it. They are too dominant to be intimidated by your opinion. They might actually appreciate your use of backbone.

4. Remember that their secret fuel is getting results. Score! If you can keep this in mind, it will make your life and relationship much easier. All the High D wants to know is that results are being achieved and progress is being made. Do that and they’re happy. Don’t do that and they’re pissed, to put it nicely. 😉

Now I don’t want anyone thinking that I am dissing the High D’s out there. I actually admire some of these character traits and wish I had more of them myself like the ability to be more direct and decisive. (If you’ve ever gone to a restaurant with me you’d know why). It’s also very cool that High D’s make great leaders who lead from the front. Having said that, here’s a word of caution for men who are married to High D women: you are still the man of the house who is responsible for leading the family. Deep down inside, your woman wants you to take charge. Again, it is very important to her that she see the results of your leadership. If she doesn’t see any results, she very well may try to take over. I’m not saying that she should take over, I’m just saying that her personality may cause her to try to in the absence of a stronger leader. If you’re a High D woman married to a non-High D man, realize that your man may resent your bossiness and make the necessary adjustments to get the love you want and still show love and respect to him in return.

If your personality type is High D, feel free to let me know if I’ve nailed it or not. I welcome your feedback. Tomorrow I will share the High I personality with you, so stay tuned.

No comments Posted in Dating, Marriage, Relationship with Others

Miracles, Book Signings, and Wonders

Posted on January 20, 2015 by

waitongod-8679 (1)It was the perfect night for a book launch party. Hours before, the sun decided to come out for a visit, warming us with his presence after days of hiding behind dark dismal clouds and cold winter winds. The moon had now taken his place for the evening and was keeping the temperature at a crisp but comfortable 50 degrees.

I could feel the tension rising in me. I had tons more to do, more details to tend to, but only a smidgen of time to get them done–0.25 hours to be exact. In fifteen minutes I would need to get home from the beauty salon, take a shower, get dressed, beat my face, and drop off the decorations at the venue for the decorating crew to get everything ready for the crowd. It wasn’t going to happen. Then the phone rang.

waitongod-8626 (1)Tina, a close friend of mine had seen my text warning everyone that I would be late and saw my car at the beauty salon on her way to help decorate.

“I’m going to have to drop these things off and then go back home to get ready,” I said exasperated.

“I can take the decorations with me so you can go on home and get dressed,” Tina offered.

“I have a lot of stuff in my car, Tina. It’s going to take a while to unload and reload all of it.”

“We can just switch cars,” she offered.

She was such a life saver. I had already had a million things on my mind like what if more people showed up than I was expecting? What if I couldn’t feed or seat them all? All of these worries stemmed from the fact that I over invited. Three hundred plus invites sent on Facebook and an ad in the newspaper to notify all of Sumter County for a building that only held 108. What was I thinking? Well at least getting the decorations there on time was one thing could be crossed off my list of what ifs. Next I had to go home and try to make sure I didn’t get my freshly done curls wet in the shower. That would be a challenge.

After some time I did mwaitongod-8741anage to keep my hair dry, beat my face, and jump into the slinky, plum-colored dress I had finally chosen as my coming out look. I was finally ready but still in a panic. I felt like it was my wedding day all over again. People would be waiting for me, the author of the hour, to arrive. Everything needed to be perfect.

And it was in all the ways that really mattered. In my haste I forgot the power cord for my laptop, which I needed in order to play a slideshow I created especially for the event. It had a picture of my grandma on it that I wanted to show in memory of her, but I still got a chance to talk about her in my acknowledgements. I wanted to have certain moments during the event videotaped with my handheld video recorder, but I forgot the batteries. Then low and behold I noticed one of my covenant partners who happens to be a professional videographer, pointing a video camera at me. He was shooting video of the entire party, and I didn’t even ask him to do it.

waitongod-8827Needless to say all was well. I should have known it would be. I had prayed about it, my Pastor had told me not to worry, and in times past God had worked things out in my favor before. This night was no different. God worked a miracle and turned all my worries into wonders. The crowd–perfect; the food–perfect; the venue–perfect; the outfit–perfect; the book dedication ceremony–perfect; the book sales–perfect. My husband’s introduction of me even though I forgot to bring his glasses so he could read the very small printout of my bio–perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing about any of it. Now on to more books, more signings, and more wonders!

***The “Wait on God” book signing and launch party was a huge success thanks to my Enon covenant partners, family members and friends both new and old. You all helped to make it great, and I love you for it. Be blessed with God’s best.

2 comments Posted in Memoirs
« Older Entries   Recent Entries »