As a 30-something year old woman, I have experienced, and even contributed to, competing with other women. It can be the smallest things that breed competition: careers, fashion, friendship, and the ultimate one…men. Why do we do this? I have developed my own philosophy for why women compete.

1. We lack confidence in ourselves.

2. We see in other women the things that we don’t see in ourselves.

3. We have allowed society’s standards for us to make us feel like we are inadequate, resulting in seeing other women as a threat.

4. We weren’t taught that we are good enough.

5. We are afraid of not fitting in.

6. We allow our emotions to guide us.

In a world that doesn’t associate femininity with power, we are sometimes forced to direct our disdain toward one another. Instead of seeing the bigger problem, we pinpoint the negative in among ourselves. Isn’t this how the enemy works? He looks for ways to create confusion and separation among God’s people. Where is the easiest place to start? With women! What we don’t always realize is that our influence on the Earth is greater than we will ever know. This is evident dating back to the Garden of Eden in the book of Genesis. Eve’s influence in Adam’s choices was powerful. He may not have even known that he wanted to taste the fruit, but he was so engulfed in Eve’s desire that he didn’t even have the opportunity to think for himself.

I often read posts and quotes that are shared on social media pertaining to women being compared to flowers in a garden. One that stands out is by Miranda Kerr. “A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.” We are all beautiful in our own way. The garden of life is full of so many beautiful, talented women of God. Each flower has a different purpose. The rose is never consumed with the progress of the lily’s growth, it just grows. We should be the same way.

God calls us all to different Kingdom assignments. If we focus on our own personal spiritual growth, we would not be consumed with competing. If we see one another as sisters in Christ, we will learn to be more encouraging. The Earth is large enough for us all to have an influence in the places where God sends us. We are all gifted in so many ways. We must learn to embrace everyone’s gifts. As women, we have to celebrate one another. Stop looking for the flaws in one another. Stop seeing one another as competition. Stop feeling like another one has the upper hand. Stop listening to gossip about and backbiting one another. Stop participating in situations that don’t help us gain any fruit. Embrace the greatness in the next woman, and be satisfied with who you are.

Now let’s discuss. Can you suggest other ways to overcome competitive jealousy among one another? Don’t forget to like, comment, and share if this has blessed you.