Tag Archive for lifestyle

Styled by Seduction or Sanctification?

I was once mistaken for a groupie back in the day. Hard to believe, right? I’m pretty conservative or modest in my appearance now, but as a young woman I intentionally wore outfits to draw attention from the opposite sex. That was until someone actually propositioned me for sex based on my appearance.

 

How dare he?! I was offended. I was appalled. Why would he think that I would give it up? Well, he was perverted in his thinking to make that assumption about me, but it wasn’t all on him. I suggested something to him with what I was or was not wearing. So today I ask the saints of God…what are your clothes saying to the people around you?

I know someone may be thinking, “Wait a minute now, don’t go messing with my clothes because ain’t nothing wrong with dressing sexy.”

True. There is nothing wrong with dressing sexy (revealing) in a setting that is meant to be sexy (ie. date night with the husband or in the privacy of your own home), but besides that we have to be mindful to keep it classy and sanctified. When I say sanctified I don’t mean skirts down to your ankles with turtlenecks in the summer. I mean dressing in a way that exudes godliness, not with the intent to enhance those lady lumps to the point of distraction for our brothers. (ie. boobs out, pants, dresses, and skirts so tight that nothing is left to the imagination.) I mean nothing.

Listen, I’m a skinny girl for the most part and I’ve been working out lately. The obliques are popping for sure, but do I wear mid-drift tops? No. Not because I can’t, but because I choose not to reveal my goodies to the world. That treat is for my husband’s eyes only. I know we love attention as women. Sure, it makes us feel good when a man compliments our figures, but we shouldn’t seek that kind of attention. Consider this quote from MatthiasMedia.com.

 

“Immodest dress, flirtatious glances and seductive body language designed to attract male attention are just as ungodly as the lustful thoughts they provoke. When I stop seeing men as potential suitors and start seeing them as brothers in Christ, I won’t resent restrictions like the need to dress modestly; love will transform the way I dress, act and speak.”

Instead of subconsciously provoking men to lust after us, let’s consciously provoke them to love and to good works. (Hebrews 10:24)

Have any of you besides me ever transformed your dress to align with your Christian morals and values?

Putting God First-A Practical Application

Phew!!! It’s been a minute since I last posted on this blog (two months to be exact.) I’ve been so busy with planning for our new radio talk show, writing my next book, serving in ministry and well, life in general, that I’ve been neglecting to post in this in-depth format. I’d be telling a half truth if I left it at being busy as my only reason for not posting. It’s also been because when I post I want to make sure that I’m posting something with substance and not just posting just to post. This topic has been on my heart lately, so hopefully the wait for new material will be worth it. Fingers crossed! 

Lots of people know Matthew 6:33 and can quote it verbatim. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things shall be added to you.” It’s a very powerful commandment and promise rolled into one, but what does it really look like when put into action by God’s children?

Seeking Him first is more than spending the first part of your day in prayer. It’s more than just going to church every Sunday. It’s more than being nice to people and being a part of a Christian based organization. All of those things are important and certainly have their place, but seeking the Kingdom first is a lot deeper and more challenging than that. It requires a commitment and dedication beyond what is natural and comfortable. It requires sacrifice. Take the parable of the rich man for instance.

This man came to Jesus wondering what more he could do to be saved. He was already keeping all ten commandments and had done so all his life. What else could the Lord require of him? Jesus told him something he had not been expecting–go and sell all of his possessions and come follow Him. The rich man’s heart was broken. He dropped his head at the thought of giving up what he had worked so hard for; the lavish lifestyle he was enjoying; the mark of his success and social status. And for what? To follow Him everywhere He went? The man walked away from Jesus that day because he wasn’t willing to sacrifice for the cause of Christ.

Sacrificing the things that are most valuable to us is putting God first. Jesus wasn’t as concerned about the riches the man had. He’s not requiring His children to live poor, beggarly lives by any means. He came so that we might have life and have it more abundantly. He was concerned, rather, about the condition of his heart. His heart was obviously set on the things he had because he was not willing to part with them, not even for the Lord.

Another example of putting God first is found in Luke 9:57-62 and involves our time. In this passage there are three individuals who speak to Jesus about following Him as His disciples. Two of them actually said, “Lord, I will follow you,” but there were conditions attached. Let me go bury my daddy first, one said. Let me go say goodbye to the folks at my house party first, said another. Jesus’ response was this…”no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back [to the things behind] is fit for the kingdom of God” (AMP) The men had the best of intentions, but when it boiled down to it they were not willing to sacrifice the time they had allotted to other matters that were important to them, not even for the Lord.

But isn’t it important to maintain a certain level of wealth? To attend your own father’s funeral? To show hospitality to the people visiting your home?  Sure they are, but they are not more important than God and His call on your life. He wants to be our number one priority. That’s what true disciples do–they love others and they put God FIRST!

So practically speaking in this day and age, what does that look like? We can’t physically follow Jesus Christ himself anymore, so what can we do that is equivalent to this level of discipleship? Well, one of the thins it means for is being connected to a local body of believers (my church) and committing to the vision given to my pastor from God. It means giving of my resources (money, time, and talents). And it means making the support of ministry my priority. How? I take the needs of the ministry into consideration when I am making plans for how I spend my money and how I spend my time. I use my gifts and talents (writing, singing, working with children etc.) to help the ministry. If conflicts arise between what I want to do and what I’ve been called to do through ministry service (and they sometimes do), I make the tough decision to sacrifice my own desires. It’s not always easy to do, and I’ve grown to this place over time. But my life is so blessed because of it.

It also means seeking to obey His Word in spite of how I may feel about it, who doesn’t agree, or what my flesh is telling me to do contrary to it. I don’t always get it right, y’all and I have to repent often, but I do not practice sin. I choose God’s way over my own. I’ve had to apologize to and love people that I really did not like. I’ve had to abstain from fornication when my flesh wanted to give in. I’ve had to praise God through things I really did not understand. I’ve had to turn down worldly pleasures that other people said was okay to do. I’ve had to turn down opportunities that most people would have jumped on because I was already committed elsewhere. I’ve had to walk in integrity when it was easy to lie or cover my faults. All because I so wanted to please Him. That’s sacrifice. That’s putting God first. And again, my life is blessed because of it. Here’s Christ’s special promise to those who go the extra mile to follow Him.

“…there is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions and in the world to come eternal life.” (Mark 10:29-30 KJV)

This is an encouragement to you, not to drastically change everything you are doing, but to take inventory of your life and really see how you can give God a little more of your time to serve in your church; how you can give God a little more of your financial resources and tithe consistently. How you can take just one habit that you know is against God’s will and begin to break it with the help of the Lord. I don’t know about you, but I want and need “all these things” to be added to my life. Putting God first, not second or third, is the key.

In what other ways can believers put God first?

No Competition!

women-no-competition
This week’s guest blogger is none other than the Queen Supreme herself, Ms. Ieshia Farmer. Ieshia was crowned Ms. S.C. Plus America 2015 and is the founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry
(www.facebook.com/esthersjewels). I’ve asked Ieshia to address an issue that I think is unfortunately very relevant in the body of Christ today, especially among women. That is competitive jealousy. I’ve been tempted with it myself and have recently asked the Lord to search my own heart for any sign of that pesky spirit lurking around. I want my heart and all my motives to always remain pure before God so that I can continue to be used by Him. If you’re like me and want to know how to overcome competitive jealousy from a beauty queen and woman of God’s perspective, read on. Speak, Ieshia! 
As a 30-something year old woman, I have experienced, and even contributed to, competing with other women. It can be the smallest things that breed competition: careers, fashion, friendship, and the ultimate one…men. Why do we do this? I have developed my own philosophy for why women compete.
1. We lack confidencompetece in ourselves.
2. We see in other women the things that we don’t see in ourselves.
3. We have allowed society’s standards for us to make us feel like we are inadequate, resulting in seeing other women as a threat.
4. We weren’t taught that we are good enough.
5. We are afraid of not fitting in.
6. We allow our emotions to guide us.
In a world that doesn’t associate femininity with power, we are sometimes forced to direct our disdain toward one another. Instead of seeing the bigger problem, we pinpoint the negative in among ourselves. Isn’t this how the enemy works? He looks for ways to create confusion and separation among God’s people. Where is the easiest place to start? With women! What we don’t always realize is that our influence on the Earth is greater than we will ever know. This is evident dating back to the Garden of Eden in the book of Genesis. Eve’s influence in Adam’s choices was powerful. He may not have even known that he wanted to taste the fruit, but he was so engulfed in Eve’s desire that he didn’t even have the opportunity to think for himself.
I often read posts and quotes that are shared on social media pertaining to women being compared to flowers in a garden. One that stands out is by Miranda Kerr. “A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.” We are all beautiful in our own way. The garden of life is full of so many beautiful, talented women of God. Each flower has a different purpose. The rose is never consumed with the progress of the lily’s growth, it just grows. We should be the same way.
God calls us all to different Kingdom assignments. If we focus on our own personal spiritual growth, we would not be consumed with competing. If we see one another as sisters in Christ, we will learn to be more encouraging. The Earth is large enough for us all to have an influence in the places where God sends us. We are all gifted in so many ways. We must learn to embrace everyone’s gifts. As women, we have to celebrate one another. Stop looking for the flaws in one another. Stop seeing one another as competition. Stop feeling like another one has the upper hand. Stop listening to gossip about and backbiting one another. Stop participating in situations that don’t help us gain any fruit. Embrace the greatness in the next woman, and be satisfied with who you are.
Now let’s discuss. Can you suggest other ways to overcome competitive jealousy among one another? Don’t forget to like, comment, and share if this has blessed you.
Ieshia FarmFB_IMG_1466649032404er was born, raised, and currently resides in Sumter, South Carolina. She is the Co-Founder of Ragin Preparatory
Christian Academy in Sumter, Founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry, and  member of Kingdom M-Pact Worship Center.