Picture it. You walk into your house after a long day at work. You realize that you are knee deep in housework: baskets full of dirty laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a tub in need of a scrub await you. Your husband asks, “What’s for dinner?” while your infant child cries to the top of his lungs for your attention. You have Bible study in an hour and have to prepare to teach your class. In the recess of your mind you think about the presentation you need to prepare for work in a few days and the brownies you promised to make for your friend’s baby shower this weekend. You desperately want a moment of solitude to just breathe right now, but the sound of the clock ticking away just won’t allow that. Does this sound familiar?
As a servant in the house of God, a wife, mother, a working professional, and entrepreneur it is all too familiar to me. Like many women, I have a lot on my plate. A LOT! I love what I do for the Lord, my family, the children I serve on my job, and the people who are inspired by my writing, but sometimes the load of it all can be quite overwhelming. Just thinking about all the things that I need to do can send me into crisis management mode where common everyday tasks that I know full well have to be done are a sudden emergency. The result is running around like a chicken with my head cut off, getting snippy with people who are really not the problem, and basically just trying to get my to-do list DONE which sometimes means the quality of the things on the list suffers. That is if I don’t make a plan for them.
Plan? Some people’s plan would involve eliminating a few things to avoid being so busy. Well there is nothing wrong with being busy as long as we’re busy with the right things. So my goal from day to day is not to figure out how I can get out of doing these things but to figure out how to develop a winning strategy to make completing them less stressful for me and those around me. Neglecting to do them is simply not an option. The people in my life depend on me. More importantly, the Lord depends on me. I’ve been given much and because of that much is required of me.
So, how can we as women manage our daily lives and responsibilities as virtuous women and avoid the dreaded cri
sis? I believe the answer is in this catchy phrase a very wise sister friend of mine shared with me–Rise and grind. This is part of her plan to stay on top of her game each day, and I think it will help us all too. Here’s what G.R.I.N.D. means to me.
- Get rid of excuses and just do it. Thinking of all the reasons why its hard to balance different parts of our life is a paralytic. Oftentimes thinking about all the things you need to do can lead to you doing nothing at all. Thinking about all it will take to reach your goal can lead to never reaching your goal. Instead of thinking yourself out of becoming a better person or taking care of your responsibilities, just start. Start small in bite sized pieces, but start somewhere. Consider this…starting small is better than not starting at all. If you never begin you’ll never win. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the devil paralyzing me with self defeating thoughts before I even try to begin. Let’s move beyond his plot to steal the blessings God has in store for us by simply taking action-one faith building step at a time.
- Refuse to be idol (aka lazy). As I said before, be busy with the right things. There’s nothing wrong with being busy. The virtuous woman was busy and part of what made her virtuous is that she knew how to handle her bus-i-ness. We cannot be lazy and do this. We who have chosen to marry have also chosen to be wives. Virtuous wives don’t sit around watching reality television, taking two hour naps, or scrolling through social media all day. (Ouch!) There is just too much to do. We have the time to do everything that needs to be done, but it’s what we do with our time that matters. We all need to get up earlier like the virtuous woman. Help, Lord! Help me and my sisters to rebuke that snooze alarm and get our hips up in the morning so we can handle our business in Jesus’ name. Amen.
- Increase your productivity by decreasing your work load. I k
now what you’re thinking…I thought this
wasn’t about eliminating responsibilities. You’re right. It’s not. What I mean here is doing a little here and a little there so that you won’t get so overwhelmed by having to do everything all at once. One thing that has helped me with housework is a daily cleaning calendar (pictured to the right). When I use it (still working on being more consistent with it) it helps tremendously. I like it because it gives me a visual plan that I can follow each day with a backup plan and rest days already built in. Super helpful, super rewarding, and super encouraging! Try it. - Never ignore the Holy Spirit. He has a knack for preparing us ahead of time for the future. How do you know the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you something. It’s an unction on the inside for me, a thought to do the right, beneficial thing that I often don’t feel like doing. The flesh is never going to tell you to do the right thing, so when I’m urged in that direction I know it’s God. For instance, once I had a big ministry project coming up, and I was procrastinating in getting it done because I was waiting on someone to give me specific directions before I got started. Wrong move. The closer we got to the event the more the little details began to pile up and the more stressed I became because time had almost run out. The Holy Spirit told me days ahead what I needed to do, but I ignored it, thinking that I had everything under control. The project was still completed, but boy could the process have been much smoother and less stressful had I listened to the still small voice on the inside of me. Remember, He promotes peace in our lives, so let’s allow Him to minister that peace by doing things His way.
- Depend on God. The just shall live by faith is an absolute truth. Every ounce of our lives have to be done by faith. The problem that we sometimes face is thinking that we can handle everything all by ourselves, never asking for any help. We can be good at everything we have to do and be magnificent multitaskers, but because we are so confident in ourselves we end up not doing them in faith. Being in faith means that we depend on God for everything and being prayerful in the process. Here’s a quote I found on thebusymom.com. “If you’re doing His work by His power, your marriage and family will thrive. God will not guide you where you cannot stand in His strength.”
Now I know there are some super moms and wives out there who have it together, so please share your strategies with the rest of us who need to do better. I look forward to gleaning from your experiences. Any other positive comments are welcome also. 🙂
o I had the opportunity to be a guest blogger on www.2aiming3arrows.com, a website devoted to raising children (arrows) according to God’s plan. I wrote about my experience as a new mother aiming my infant arrow towards God. If you haven’t read it, check out Confessions of an Amateur Archer on that site. Anyhoo, I thought I’d share another strategy I’ve employed as a new mother to help guide my son’s spiritual journey in a Kingdom direction.
ur family being very physically or verbally affectionate. As a mother now, it’s something I’m very intentional about doing. Even though it initially felt awkward (and still does sometimes), I push past how I feel and give them what I know they need. However, God has been showing me that I’m still lacking love in very simple interactions I have with my sons. I’ll tell my oldest “Good job!” on his cursive writing, but it’s AFTER I’ve pointed out two areas he can improve. I’ll tell our middle son “Awesome!” for picking up his toys without being asked AFTER I’ve pointed out the two Legos he missed. And RIGHT AFTER I say these things, God whispers to me “Esther… why?? Yeah, you’re saying it, but it’s a little backwards.” I DON’T KNOW, GOD! IT JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY! With all of this, when I just out-right fail to notice the good they do, I will inevitably find our oldest son going ABOVE AND BEYOND to help me with his baby brother or things around the house. He will also ask me to look at EVERY single flip or shot he makes. Our younger son will also ask me to look at EVERY SINGLE drawing he makes and Lego airplane he has designed. Show-N-Tell doesn’t have to be put on the calendar in these times; it will occur every 5 -10 minutes. And I think I know why…
4 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.” This verse changed Esther’s life as a mother, so she started blogging in 2014 to share the easy and challenging lessons of aiming God’s arrows in His direction.
