Tag Archive for Religion and Spirituality

Going to Church Is Not Just About YOU

This post, inspired by my VBS students, is for all the parents out there, both married and single, who are working hard to take care of their kids financially but are missing out on another important element of raising children. Please read and share with someone you know who needs to hear this truth. It just may set them free.

These past few days I have bfamily at church.gifeen teaching a youth Vacation Bible School class consisting of children ages 7-10, and I must say that I’ve been amazed. I’m amazed at how excited these children are to learn more about the Lord. I’m amazed at how much they already know about His Word. I’m amazed at how boldly they testify about God blessing them. I’m amazed at the depth of the things they’ve prayed to God about–things that an adult may not even think to pray. Moments like these make me, as a new parent, grateful to be a part of a ministry that teaches the Word, not just Bible stories, and takes the salvation of our youth seriously. How did these youngsters become so deeply rooted in God’s Word? It’s quite simple, really. Their parents raised them in church.

I’ve come across quite a few people over the years, particularly men and single moms who have told me they don’t go to church because they have to work. Yes, you most certainly have to work to provide for your family. The Bible backs that up completely. But money ain’t everything, and when you are obedient to God He won’t let you go lacking. Get this, your biggest priority is to provide spiritual nourishment to your family by taking them to church on a consistent basis so they can be fed God’s Word. You don’t just feed them every now and then do you? How about just on holidays? Of course not. They would be malnourished, and you would be guilty of neglect if you did. Well, you can be just as guilty of neglect with God if you deprive your children of the spiritual nourishment and development that consistently being in God’s house provides. Hebrews 10:25 (GNT) says,

Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer.

In addition, taking your children to church is a part of the spiritual training that God commands, not suggests, that Christian parents do. Proverbs 22:6 says this…

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

A large part of training is practicing what you preach. In other words, it’s demonstrating to your children that what you are telling them to do is also important to you. I don’t know about you but I have trouble with people who require me to do something they are not willing to do themselves. Your children may feel the same way if all you do is send them to church while you do whatever it is you do until they get back. It sends the message that going to church isn’t important. They may be inclined to repeat that same pattern of behavior when they become parents. The bottom line, folks, is this. You are the ordained spiritual covering for your household as a parent, and God is holding you responsible for raising the next generation of righteous people. You cannot do that apart from His House. And yes, we are to foster a Word and worship atmosphere in our homes as well, but personal private worship should not replace corporate worship. It should compliment it.

My intent is not to be judgmental here. I am speaking from experience. Growing up, I didn’t go to church every Sunday. For years we only went on special occasions like Easter and New Year. Truthfully, dressing up for Easter is all I can really remember about church as a young child. I think I was about six or seven when my mom and I started going every Sunday. I don’t think we were regular Bible study goers until much later than that. So what’s my point? If I were to compare myself as a child to the children in my VBS class they would have run circles around me in church and in life because they have been blessed to be raised in the church, which has given them a strong foundation in the Word. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad for the foundation I did get, but I believe I would have been so much farther along in my faith walk if I had been taught faith from the very beginning.

So here are a few practical tips that will help you get to a place where consistent church attendance is possible.

  1. Change your work schedule if you can. If you have any control over your schedule, take church times off.  If you don’t have a say in the matter, pray about it. The good thing about having a divine connection with your Heavenly Father is that He hears your prayers. If you are praying according to His will (you going to church is His will), He will give you what you desire (1 John 5:15). You could just send them to church with someone else while you go to work or stay home to rest, but they need to see you worship God. One of my favorite quotes says “Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.” You should want your children to imitate a good work ethic, but you should want even more for them to imitate a good worship ethic.
  2. Be persistent. If a hectic work schedule is not your issue, you have got to learn persistence when it comes to church attendance. Rainy weather is not a reason to miss church. Tiredness is not a reason to miss church. Hard times are not even a reason to miss church. Truth be told, we press for everything else we want to do–shopping, ball games, hair appointments, concerts, etc. etc. etc. As far as hard times and disappointments go, church is the best place you could be when you are going through. We find encouragement in the Word and strength from others of like faith in the sanctuary. Your children need this. YOU need this. Don’t let the minor setbacks of life keep you out of God’s house and out of fellowship with His people.
  3. Find a Word-based church. Not being able to find a church is no excuse either because there’s a church on every corner just about. BUT it is so uber important to find a church that is teaching the Word of God. In these days and times we don’t need to hear Bible stories. We need to hear truth that will prepare us for the daily spiritual battles we will face. If you don’t currently have a church like that pray that God will lead you where He wants to plant you. Yours and your children’s spiritual growth depends on it because the more you learn and grow the more you can instill in them.

So, regularly attending church is about you, but it is also about your children. Face it, being a parent requires much sacrifice. To whom much is given much is required. God blessed us when He gave us our children, and He is requiring that we give them the best possible care that we can physically, emotionally, AND spiritually.

What are your thoughts? Can you attest to how regular church attendance has helped your family?

The Last Mani-Pedi

Today I went to tnailshe mall and had a mani-pedi. No big deal, right? It was only supposed to ensure that my feet would look decent when I went to the hospital to deliver my baby and as a way to relax before the big day, but it turned into something more–something more symbolic and meaningful to me. I realized that this would be the last mani-pedi I would have as a child-free woman. In essence, this would be the last time I would do something pleasurable just for me without having to consider the needs of a child. Instead of it being just another mani-pedi, it was a brief moment for me to relish in my non-mommy status before the very certain and soon arrival of my son, Gabriel.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am super excited to enter this new phase in my life, and I definitely count it an honor to be a mother because it is a blessing, but there’s no mistaking that my life will never ever be the same in Jesus name. Getting married at the age of 30 was the first transition into a less selfish me, where I would have another person’s needs to consider, and now at the age of 34 any remaining bits of selfishness will have to take a back seat to meeting my son’s every need and being totally responsible for his well-being. That’s not to be taken lightly. It comes with the territory–territory that I’ve been desiring to enter for the past three years. So I’m okay with that. Actually, I’m thrilled with it. That moment also reminded me how important it is to appreciate and find contentment in every phase of life, even as the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11.

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

So will there be more mani-pedis in my future? Absolutely! But for at least the next 18 years, it won’t be before I make sure that my child has what he needs first.

 

I’d love to hear how any soon-to-be, first-time mothers are spending your final days of freedom or how any other mothers enjoyed yourselves before your babies arrived. Feel free to share.

See Flaws as Opportunities Not Cop Outs

quoteIf someone you cared about told you that they loved you just the way you are-the good, the bad, and the ugly, your ups, downs and all arounds–EVERYTHING hands down, they’d probably be lying. No really, unconditional love is a supernatural trait that many people, Christians included, fall short of developing in some cases. Moreover, would you try to change anything or improve if they did tell you that? Probably not. Why fix what isn’t broken, right? Well, the match that sparked this flame of thought was Kierra Sheard’s new song Flaws.

I have mixed feelings about it. The lyrics suggest that God loves our imperfections and that the things we consider flaws are not flaws at all in God’s eyes. To Him, they make us beautiful. Now before you quit reading this and think that I’m missing the point, keep reading. I do agree that God made no mistakes when He made us because we’re made in His image, and I get that God has given us the gift of grace, which is unmerited favor that we did not and could not ever earn no matter how hard we tried. Period. His love for us is condition free and forever sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ. I would argue though that it’s not our flaws that He loves but it’s us that He loves in spite of our flaws.

Let’s apply this to natural relationships. I love my husband, Lord knows I do, but I do not love all of his ways, his habits, or the way he chooses to do some things. In the same token he doesn’t love all of mine either. But because neither one of us is our own anymore (we belong to each other through the covenant of marriage) we owe it to each other to work on the things that can possibly hinder our relationship. I’m not talking about the little things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things like forgetting to take the trash out on trash day, but those “big dogs” that can really tear up your marriage if not nipped in the bud (ie. bad spending habits, poor housekeeping skills, unfaithfulness-physically and/or emotionally, etc.) It is selfish to think that our spouses should accept us just as we are, flaws and all, and to make no effort to become a better, not flawless spouse.

Flaws come in two forms in my opinion: the ones that deal with our physical state and those that deal with the state of our character. When it comes to the darkened acne marks polka dotting my cheeks or my tendency to consume more chocolaty treats than fruits and veggies, God is good with that. BUT when it comes to what goes on inwardly at times, the things that no one but Him can see or the secret sins that are done when no one is looking, but creep out in the things we say and do, it’s not all good with Him. Those things affect more than just us. They affect those around us who look to our example. Walking around with a chip on my shoulder and offending everybody I meet, then passing it off as “just my personality” is not okay with Him nor is any sin in which we engage. As loving as God is, He is not okay with sin. It’s the spirit of the world that has perpetuated the idea that anything goes. But quite frankly, it does not. Thinking that it does can lead to a failure to see that anything is wrong and that change is necessary. Am I suggesting that change is something done independent of our loving Heavenly Father. Absolutely not. He (His Word) is our change agent. Without it, change would be impossible for the believer. I believe He has given us the grace to change–to grow more into the image of Him, not the grace to remain in the same sinful state that He delivered us from simply because by matter of free will and His unconditional love for us we can.

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” Romans 6:1

What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Romans 6:15

It is foolish to use grace as an opportunity to sin. It is an abuse of the free gift. “Taking advantage” of His grace is a far cry from taking advantage of His grace. Let me explain. Taking advantage of His grace is like misusing a privilege. It’s the employee who leaves work early because they know the boss is not there. It’s the man who makes an unwanted sexual advance on a woman because she flirts with him and gives him the time of day. It’s the woman who shops incessantly because she has possession of the family credit card and all the balance statements too. On the other hand, “taking advantage” of His grace is accepting the free gift for its true purpose as God intended. It’s realizing you’re unrighteous and receiving the righteousness that Christ’s sacrifice provides. It’s realizing you’re unworthy and undeserving but receiving without apology the blessings that God’s goodness makes available. It’s realizing your imperfections yet allowing the transformative power of God to have its way in your life. Yes, we are flawed human beings and God loves us, but don’t allow flaws to be an excuse for mediocrity. Rather, let it be motivation for us to seek change and spiritual growth to ultimately glorify our Heavenly Father.

I’m not judgin’. I’m just sayin’.