Tag Archive for Religion and Spirituality

Under Attack (In Honor of Veteran’s Day)

Iraqi Freedom

This is a picture of the Coalition Press Information Center (CPIC) crew in Baghdad, Iraq back in 2003. I am the 3rd one from the left.

It was a typical morning in Baghdad about eight months into our yearlong deployment.  Daylight was beginning to peek into our window and a thick haze lurked about the polluted sky.  Morning prayer chants blared from the local mosque loud enough to wake the dead.  But they didn’t bother me though.  I was immune to them by this time because they were as regular as our meals:  three times a day, every day.

I was slowly stirring from sleep just before my alarm clock was set to sound, when all of a sudden I heard a loud thud.  Followed by another.  And then another. 

“What the…?” I muttered to myself.

We were under attack again.  We had had false alarms before, but something was different about this one.   

“Boom!” I could feel my bed vibrate on impact.  The Iraqi hotel we were staying in, which was once inhabited by Saddam Hussein, felt like it was going to crumble with us in it.

The tremor jolted my battle buddy Thompson and me from sleep. We shot out of bed.  Scurried around the room trying to find our vital belongings.  The sudden unrest made us forget all that we had learned about properly responding to an enemy attack.  But we were not trained for this kind of attack.  We had been trained to fight in the woods, camouflaging ourselves and digging foxholes, not escaping a 12-floor hotel in the middle of the city.  Unlike what we expected, our enemy was not a foreign soldier in uniform. It was terrorism riding on the backs of rocket-propelled grenades launched from hundreds of meters away.  Adrenaline took over.  Our agenda was to get out of there as fast as we could and that meant staying on our feet.

We threw on our shoes.  Grabbed only what was necessary: weapons and ammunition, ID cards, bulletproof vests, and helmets. 

Then we heard banging on our room door.

“Get out of the building!” yelled the Gurka security guard, going from room to room confirming our fear.

“Let’s go Wright!” my battle buddy yelled, thrusting open the door.

Not knowing what to expect on the other side of our door, we hurried out into smoke, debris, and eerie darkness amid cries of help from other frightened individuals.

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This was the second attack. The Iraqi insurgents had their sights better set this time.


And then panic begins.

You open your eyes.  Open them so wide your head hurts.  You order your lungs to slow down, NOW, you need to breath, need it NOW.  But your airways ignore you.  Your chest heaves, contracts, expands, and suddenly you’re gagging on smoke.  Your eyes squint and your face winces and all you can manage to do is cough and sputter.  Your hands reach and feel.  Somewhere a cold front has passed and chills envelope your body…… You want to cry.  You would if you could.  But tears would only worsen your vision.

Panic.

“Thompson!  I can’t see!” I screamed to my battle buddy who was already way ahead of me at the staircase.


“I’m right here Wright!”  She roared.

“Where?  I can’t see you!”  I cried in desperation.

Then I felt her grab my hand and lead me to the staircase.

What I remember next is the cramped stairwell as we scurried down ten long flights.  I remember turning my thoughts heavenward, praying, pleading for my life not to end like this. 

“He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty… He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty!”  I stammered over and over again to myself.

Someone was yelling.  No, not just yelling.  Wailing and bleeding.  I saw men carrying an injured lady, blood trailing behind them.  Thompson and I pushed our way through the hoards of people on the stairs.  They were moving too slowly, and we wanted out.  Fast. 

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Rocket-propelled grenades were fired from across the street, about 300 meters away from the hotel.

Once we made it to the bottom floor we stood in the middle of the lobby, panting uncontrollably, trying to locate familiar faces.  I wondered if we were now safe or if we’d actually have to defend ourselves.  Seeing the infantry soldiers and the military police swarming around the doors made me feel safer.  I looked around the room at the people, thankful for peace, thankful for friends, thankful to be alive. 

We were gathered to hear further instructions about evacuation.  I could see many crying, some hugging coworkers, and many looking frightened and puzzled as to what had just happened.

We soon found out that a group of insurgents had set up a bright blue trailer loaded with about 20 rockets about 300 meters away from us.  Apparently they pulled it there, dropped it off and left knowing that at approximately 7 am the rockets would hit their target and change our lives forever.  We also learned that one Army colonel’s life was claimed in the attack.  A rocket had flown directly into his room window, exploding with him in it.   

At that moment I realized the devastating, raping effects of terrorism which leaves its victims defenseless.  Although in a crowded room I felt vulnerable.  With a loaded weapon, bullet proof vest, and the military police surrounding me, I felt vulnerable.

Suddenly a thought hit me.  If it had not been for divine protection, I could have been the one dead instead of the one experiencing the aftermath. 

My battle buddy turned to me and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for coming back for me.” I managed to say between sobs, hugging her for the first time ever.

“You know I couldn’t leave my buddy back there,” she said.

That was the beginning of a most eventful and life-changing day in Baghdad, Iraq—one that I will never forget for as long as I live.  In that 15 minutes of fear I learned alot; the importance of preparedness and teamwork, but most importantly I gained a new appreciation for life, which can be here one minute and gone the next.

There were more scary days to follow during our deployment,but none like the day we were under attack.

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A view of the side of the hotel. I actually think this was the first attempt (target practice) to attack the Al Rasheed Hotel and its inhabitants.

I wrote this in 2004 after returning home from my year-long deployment in Iraq.  I thought I’d share this in honor of all the Veterans out there who truly sacrifice their lives for their country. 

          

Raise a Standard

Raise a standardstandard

Raise a standard that guards

Raise a standard that guides

Raise a standard that protects

From unecessary heartache

Raise a standard that substantiates your true worth

A standard for your time

A standard for your life

A standard for your love

Raise a standard.

Keep your head and your sights high

As one who hopes

And one who believes

One that seeks to please the Lord

To be an example

Raise a standard

Not an endless list of shallow wishes

Or false pretenses

But purposeful, God inspired standards

That all can recognize

That no one can circumvent

A standard that shields

A standard that dignifies

A standard that anchors

A standard that personifies righteousness and true holiness

Raise a standard

A standard that eliminates the dead weight

And a standard that keeps the path of your feet straight.

Raise a standard

Not just in word

But in deed

A standard that one worthy will meet

The worthy one

The one that appreciates virtue

That has standards too

Raise a standard in everything

Know that the journey will feel like eternity,

But the wait will be worth it

So raise a standard

A standard in your home

A standard in your relationships

A standard in your walk

And let your standards be non-negotiable

For settling is effortless

But standing—priceless.

I’m just sayin’.

Marital Skills that Build

wedding ringsIt is true that marriages are made in Heaven, but maintained here on earth.  It is also true that all marriages will have their share of challenges, but many of those challenges can be prevented with a little TLC.  I’m not referring to the commonly used term Tender Loving Care.  That’s important too, but I’m talking about another set of skills:  Truthfulness, Listening to Learn, and Collaboration.  Yes.  I said skills.  Being successfully married requires skill.  I haven’t been married for very long, but in our 3 1/2 years together my husband and I have picked up a few that have helped us along the way.

Truthfulness:  But you want complete honesty, so teach me true wisdom. (Psalms 51:6 CEV)

My husband and I tell each other everything.  Seriously.  You ladies may not like this, but I even tell my husband every time I go shopping.  No hiding outfits in the trunk for me, which is what a lot of women do to spend money in peace.  I’ve never been good at hiding things anyway, but it just seems counterproductive to me.  How can we expect our spouses to trust us when we practice covering up the truth?  If you have to hide something you probably shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.  My husband doesn’t always see the need for my purchases, but at least he can trust that I’m not doing it behind his back.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve been tempted to do it, but it just didn’t seem worth it.  And I had to realize that I would not like it if he started hiding things from me.  What about you?  Would you like it if your husband hid the text messages and phone calls of another woman from you?  You may not think shopping and secret communication from the opposite sex are comparable, but they are.  Money problems can damage a marriage just as much as affair problems can.  What is more, both are birthed from the seed of a lie, and you know who the father of lies is.  Yep.  Satan.  If you allow him to enter your marriage through one lie, he’ll try to stay there and fill your relationship with more lies.

Listening to Learn:  The wise also will hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding will acquire skill and attain to sound counsel [so that he may be able to steer his course rightly]—” (Proverbs 1:5 AMP)

When I first got married, I was teased by both married and single friends about how much time I was spending with my husband.  I didn’t want to go anywhere without him, and every free moment I had I wanted to be with him.  Well, duh!  It was all new for me.  We were spending all that time getting to know each other.  You can’t learn all there is to know about a person while dating, no matter how long you date.  It’s only when you live under the same roof, sharing everything, and I mean everything, that you get to see those interesting quirks.  That’s when the real person comes out. You can’t hide who you really are 24/7.  Anyone can put on a front for a few hours a few times a week for a date.  But forever is a long time to keep up a charade.  That being said, marriage is a life-long learning process that requires lots of listening (well, there’s another L for you). Here’s an example of how important listening and learning is to a marriage.  Since being married, I have learned through trial and several errors that my husband hates being late and that he doesn’t like to talk when he’s upset.  He’s learned that sometimes I’m a little tardy and that I need to talk when misunderstandings occur.  Here’s what happened.  One Friday afternoon I went to the gym as usual to work out.  Later on that night my husband and I were to attend an out of town church service.  Well, by the time I got home from the gym (and I hadn’t brought home any food for dinner), it was almost time for us to leave if we were going to be on time.  I walked in like nothing was wrong (well, there wasn’t anything wrong with me), and when I went to greet Russell, he gave me the not just cold but icy shoulder.  “What’s wrong, honey?”  “Is everything ok?  I implored, but to no avail.  All I got were short answers and lots of silence.  If he was going to treat me this way I wanted to know what exactly I had done wrong.  Anyway, I went ahead and rushed to get dressed.  Lo and behold, we were still able to leave the house on time.  I figured that would be the end of it.  We’re not late, so he has no reason to be mad now, I thought.  Surely, he’s ready to talk about it now.  I was wrong.  “Why were you mad at me, honey?”  I asked.  “I’m not mad, and I don’t want to talk about it.”  he replied as cool as a cucumber.  Now I was getting mad at him for getting mad at me, not apologizing for being mad at me for nothing, refusing to talk about it, and for having a don’t care attitude.  Needless to say we did not talk the rest of the night. It wasn’t until the next evening that I brought it up again.  “Are you ready to talk now?” I asked, tired of the series of silence.  He was still being his nonchalant self, but agreed to finally talk.  We concluded that the next time he didn’t feel like talking, he’d let me know that up front, but that he had to reassure me that we would in fact talk later.  That was our compromise.  We learned that about each other in that moment.  Now that we know these things, our goal is to apply them to avoid another 24-hour period of silence or worst, unresolved bitterness and resentment in our marriage.

Collaboration: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)

A marriage is only as good as the two people involved make it.  It’s not something you can put on autopilot and cruise through.  It takes work, and it takes working together.  Before I got married I was very independent.  I had my own house and car.  I had my own career and could take care of myself financially.  Was everything perfect for me?  No, but I could handle things.  I had also been raised by a single mother, so that spirit of I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.C.E was all up and through me.  So, when I married Russell lots changed for me.  I had to learn to submit (still working on this) to him when I was used to doing what I wanted to do, making my own decisions, and spending my money the way I wanted to.  It took me a while to learn that it was no longer “I”, but “US”.  No longer “Mine” but “Ours”.  And while I was doing my thing and making things happen as a single woman, I’ve discovered that we are better together.  My spending habits have improved because I have someone besides myself to think about now.   Attempting to be a one-woman show in a two-person marriage is harmful to the relationship.  A woman I met shared her story with me on how her selfish tendencies (spending money, making decisions without her husband’s input, and just having a plain ole’ all-about-me attitude) contributed to her husband’s infidelity.  She didn’t say that her tendencies caused his cheating because that was completely his decision, but that in retrospect she can see that her behavior did not help the situation.  It is so vital that each person focus on what they need to do as individuals to please their spouse.  If each one would focus on his or her job, the relationship would be more productive.  But when one person tries to do the other person’s job and please themselves, you have a deficit and overall low relationship performance.

The skills of truthfulness, listening to learn, and collaboration are not automatic.  They must be taught and practiced again and again until mastered.  Luckily, you have the best teacher–the Holy Spirit, and if you ask for wisdom to improve your marital skills, He will give it to you in great supply.

I’m not judgin’.  I’m just sayin’.

Ladies and gents, what are your thoughts?  What are other skills that are needed to make a marriage work?