Tag Archive for Valentine’s Day

Favor Ain’t Fair, But It’s Necessary

Posted on March 6, 2016 by

restaurant signHave you ever had a “favor ain’t fair, but it’s necessary” moment? Well, this past Valentine’s Day my husband and I did, and it made me smile.

We decided to go to Olive Garden in a nearby city for our date on the Friday before Valentine’s Day. I already knew it would be crowded since the big day was on a Sunday this year and most people would want to celebrate earlier. I wanted to beat the crowd. I tried to call and make reservations, but they told me they don’t reserve tables on the weekend. There went that plan to beat the crowd. Next I tried getting there early because the hostess told me on the phone that if we got there by 6:30 we would probably be served quicker. Well, that plan was a bust too. My hair was in desperate need of some TLC so I had to make it look as sexy as dirty hair can look for my date, which took quite a bit of time. It was about 7:00 when we finally left the house with a 45-minute drive ahead of us.

As we approached the restaurant our thoughts were confirmed. The parking lot was packed and we saw people waiting outside the front doors. I felt compelled to speak in faith at that moment.

“Watch and see. We won’t have to wait longer than ten minutes to get a table,” I said to my husband, knowing full well that this looked more like a 60-minute wait. Actually, we were told that it would be an hour and 15 minutes wait. Well, maybe we can hit up the mall across the street while we wait on our table I thought. Wrong! The hostess handed us the notification vibrating thingy and said that it wouldn’t work from that far away. She did tell us that we could wait at the bar which was first come first serve and get half off a glass of wine while we waited. Well seeing as how the lobby had standing room only, we made our way to the bar area in hopes that we could use that coupon for a non-alcoholic drink also and that maybe just maybe there would be two available seats. Wrong again. The bar was packed and the best we could do was huddle together between the bar crowd and the booth seating behind it.

That’s when God turned it.

A couple had just gotten up from the booth directly behind us. My husband thought it would be a good idea to just sit down at the booth while we waited. We intended to get up as soon as the rightful occupants came over. Besides, the table hadn’t even been cleaned off yet. The next thing we know, the waiter came over, wiped off the table, and asked us what we wanted to order. I believe in doing the right thing, so much so that I would refuse to lie about my age when I was younger just to get an under 12 discount. I gave him a not- so-sure look and was about to tell him that our buzzer thingy hadn’t gone off yet, but he interrupted saying, “You can either wait another hour or let me take your order.” We let him take our order.

We waited less than 10 minutes. We had a good time, a good meal, and were out of there in the time it would have taken us to get a table. I call that the favor of God. Numbers 6:25 of the Amplified Bible says…

The Lord make His face shine upon you [with favor],
And be gracious to you [surrounding you with lovingkindness];

I realize how unfair that was to the people waiting their turn to be seated, but I also realize how necessary it is for God’s Word to be demonstrated in the lives of His children. He said in Mark 11:23 that if we have the God kind of faith, we can have whatever we say. I merely spoke what I wanted into the atmosphere (releasing faith) truly believing that God could move on our behalf and my faith worked. Yours can too! God is not a respecter of persons. When we do things His way, (by faith) He’s moved to honor our faith just like He did for Abraham who staggered not at the promise (to become the father of many nations) through unbelief. He’s just GOOD and FAITHFUL like that.

What is it that you need to release faith for? I dare you to take God at His Word and speak favor over your situation. It may take time to develop this kind of faith, but the more you practice this principle the more you will see the favor of God released through your positive confession.

I’m sure God has already honored your faith at some point before and made you smile as well, and I’d like to hear about it. In what ways has God shown you favor? Leave your comment here on my website in the box below.

 

 

2 comments Posted in Relationship with God

Discover Your Sweetie’s Personality Style–Part 3

Posted on February 12, 2015 by

High S

My mom and I have a very unique relationship. I am her only child, and she has never been married. You can probably imagine the tight bond that the two of us share, and this is where the conflict comes in for us at times. I am and will always be her baby. At the age of 34, being your mama’s baby and pretty much the closest person in her life is a blessing and a challenge at the same time. Sometimes, it’s just hard for her to let go, and I never fully understood that until I learned more about her personality.

What’s ironic is we look just alike, but as far as personalities go, I must have taken that after my dad. My mom is the type of person who is so sweet, but is easily offended. She is friendly and personable, but lacks assertiveness in certain areas. She likes to be appreciated for her work and efforts, but doesn’t like a big fuss about it. People like her fall into the High S personality type. High S’s tend to be creative and imaginative, happiest with family and friends, and sensitive and compassionate. If things don’t go their way the result is hurt feelings. I don’t want to give away the contents of my next post, which holds details of my personality, but I can tell you that while we’re both pretty reserved individuals, we handle things and approach issues totally different and we have different needs.

The secret fuel for the High S is peace and harmony. They like to exist with minimal conflict, which means they don’t like to stir up confusion. Now if they’re involved in someone else’s confusion, they will be affected by it. They’re not very confrontational, so generally only those closest to them will know about it. The down side of their non-confrontational nature is the tendency to be considered a sucker, meaning they can easily be taken advantage of because they’re so nice and shy. Here are some strategies for those of us in relationships with High S’s to both help ourselves and them.

1. Show concern for their feelings and empathize with their problems. All High S’s really need is a listening ear and someone to justify their feelings. Talking about the issues of the day to those closest to them can be therapeutic since they tend to internalize so much. Those of us who fall into that category should be more sensitive to this need by taking the time to actually listen, ask them how their day went, try to refrain from dismissing their feelings (even when you do think they’re overreacting), and try not to offer solutions. A little empathy will go a long way in making the High S feel loved and supported.

2. Help them develop decision making, goal setting, and assertiveness skills. This is so important because if you don’t help them with this, they will really depend on you to help them with a lot of things that you might think should come naturally, like asking questions and talking to people. I’ve had to encourage my mom to do this as a way to advocate for herself. Here’s a word of caution with this though. Encourage them to be more assertive, but make sure you do it in a loving, “I’m on your side” kind of way. If you come off too harshly or sounding critical, they will shut down. The next strategy explains why.

3. Remember that criticism is taken personally, even when unintended. You could have the best, most harmless intentions when attempting to help the High S with decision making, goal setting, and assertiveness, but it may not be received as such. Adjusting your tone of voice and coming at it from a different angle may help. The term “sugar coat” is a good way to describe this technique. High S’s are more likely to be drawn with honey than with vinegar (the cold hard truth). Make no mistake about it. The truth should still be shared with them. I’m just suggesting that the truth will be better received if spoken in love and consideration of their feelings.

4. Appreciate their work and efforts. Like High I’s, High S’s like for others to acknowledge and appreciate what they do. The difference is they prefer for it to be done in private without all the hoopla that High I’s enjoy. When considering a gift for them, a nice meaningful card or other heartfelt token of appreciation that actually tells them what you appreciate about them is a good idea. For my mom, simply telling her that you enjoy her cooking puts a smile on her face. Another good idea is to relieve them of a household chore that they normally do and acknowledge that you’re giving them a break because you noticed how hard they’ve been working. It doesn’t take much, but please indulge them on this if you want to show them some love.

If you are a High S feel free to leave a comment to let me know if I’ve nailed it or NOT. I welcome your feedback. Stay tuned for the next post on the High C, which is my personality style. 🙂

 

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